Panthea: All Things are Goddess

New Life, New Start

2011-05-31T16:57:00.002-04:00

So, it's been a really long time. Firstly, I'm making this fresh start with a whole new address - same great blog, awesome new location: http://pantheanism.blogspot.com/.

Now, let me fill you all in on what's been going on and where I'm at now with a quick little list.

Got divorced after 12 years.
Fell in love for real for the first time.
Got happy.
Got pregnant.
Married my soul mate.
Had a son on 11/09/10.
Got content.

As you can see, I've been busy. I now have a 12 year old daughter and a 7 month old son. My husband is my partner, my equal, and my best friend - exactly what I've always dreamed of. Now that I've settled down again, I can begin to (hopefully) continue my journey with all of you at Panthea.

I have lots of things on my mind these days and, as always, lots to say about it. So bare with me as I find my feet again and I will do my best not to make this another false rebirth of this blog. :D

I Forgot to Mention

2010-07-02T18:13:00.001-04:00

That at the age of 32 I am in love for the first time in my life. This has allowed me to open up towards the male aspect of divinity in a way that I never could before. I understand so much more and see that he was what I was looking for in a man all along. But that's for a later post.

I'm also suddenly pregnant for the second time with an oldest child now 11. After being told I would most likely have a lot of trouble conceiving a child again, this happened completely unexpectedly and without effort. Most definitely a blessing. The baby is due in December and we find out on July 8th if it's male or female. I already know it's a boy who looks very much like his father.

Spring Photo Blogging

2009-04-26T19:36:00.008-04:00

>> These images have disappeared since they were on my old server and I am not sure I have backup copies. If I run across them, I will put them back up. In the meantime, I'm going to get some more pictures of Mother Nature up here shortly.

Changes and Life Reflections

2009-04-26T16:15:00.007-04:00

Directly before my ex-husband leapt into the arms of another woman I remember chanting daily to Kali-Ma to remove the obstacles of my life. I was unhappy and had been for years. I was so miserable I had pondered more than once just ending it all on some lonely drunken night. That was two years ago this Spring and I can now finally see what the purpose of all the pain was.

Even though some part of me had known for years that I needed to leave my marriage, there were still times during the affair when I was sure I would go mad trying to hold my life together, trying to keep someone in my life whose time had passed. It wasn’t until the Summer of 2008 that it all struck me and I knew it was time to let go for good.

Throughout the course of my marriage there were times when I had given up on love and on the idea that I would actually one day be understood and cared for in the way that I needed. You see, my husband and I hadn’t connected in a very long time. I wonder now if we ever really did. He is a good man, just no longer the right match for me. We married very young and as time passed we became two very different people who didn't exactly bring out the best in each other. I was a child when we met and I am now a woman with a full life behind her and ahead of her.

Over that Summer something hit me like a brick in the face. There was more out there, there was something else and it was coming my way. It was time for a shift, for things to change. I noticed that I had been focusing on the Crone for some time. Kali and Persephone had been patron Goddesses of mine since before all the changes began. I felt their transformative power begin to take root within me and along with that came some sort of acceptance.

I’m not very good at acceptance. In fact, I’m terrible at it. But despite what I wanted to accept, the Crone, in all her wisdom, managed to destroy my life with one swift movement of her hand and everything fell into a sort of chaos that I had never experienced before. I was lost in the entropy of every day, stuck in a haze of anger and fear. Then one day (that warm Summer afternoon) the acceptance just settled upon me like a gentle kiss that had flown in on a sweet wind and nestled its way into my heart.

It wasn’t until the Winter (the time of the Crone) when I finally made my decision to end my marriage forever. As I ushered in 2009 I was suddenly an autonomous woman with a world of possibilities ahead of me. As to be expected with any change, the season was one of turbulence. There were emotions and heartbreaks, both old and new, that overtook my days and ruled my thoughts. And then there was Spring.

A few weeks before the Vernal Equinox I was struck with something new, something strong and irresistible. I didn’t understand any of it at first; the feelings, the pull, the power. But as the first day of Spring hit I knew what I had been looking for was right in front of me and I knew I had found love – the kind of love you don’t pass up.

So I write this now a changed woman, a woman who feels more whole and understood in her life. All that I had been pining for over the years finally seems to have landed on my front door. The future looks so bright and I am unendingly grateful to the Goddess, the Universe, and to myself for all that I have been given. It’s amazing what can happen when you finally take control of your own life.

Panthea Returns

2009-04-24T18:44:00.001-04:00

After a long hiatus Panthea has returned. My life has undergone a lot of changes, a lot of turmoil, but finally I feel at peace. For the first time in my life I know what it is to be understood, appreciated, and loved for exactly who I am. While I do believe I had found those things within myself long ago, I managed to forget my own power over time; allowing someone else to strip me of all that makes me who I am. But that’s all over now.

I am now embarking on a fresh chapter in my life - one of independence and new love where I am confident that I will only grow and evolve as time goes by. For this I am forever grateful to the Universe. Sometimes all that is needed is for one to take control of their life. Everything else then seems to fall into place.

So, now it’s time to see about picking this place up a little bit. To those of you who were once regular readers: I’m not sure how long it will take me to get back into the swing of consistent updates, but all of the info that has always been here is still available and will remain so indefinitely. Feel free to comment, share you own links, etc. and hopefully Panthea will be as good as new in no time at all.

Thanks to those of you who are returning and to those of you who may be first time visitors. I hope you find something within these pages that stimulates your thoughts and your spirit.

The Goddess Lilith

2008-08-08T13:24:00.006-04:00

You've probably heard of "Lilith Fair", the festival that celebrates women in music. Or maybe you've heard whisperings of a demon named Lilith, even the first Vampire according to some Nosferatu enthusiasts. But what about the historical evidence that portrays Lilith as a benevolent Mother Goddess, (albeit with her dark qualities, as is the case with most Goddesses) who dates back to antiquity?

According to some myths Lilith was Adam's first wife who was banished from Eden for believing she was equal to her mate. Lilith basically wanted to "be on top" but Adam found this emasculating so she was forced to leave the garden and it is said she was forever cursed to give birth to tons of demon babies a day. That seems a little silly to me since I don't understand why "God" would want there to be tons of demons in the world. But I will suspend belief in this instance based on the fact that that's not the silliest thing I've ever read in mythology.

Yet other myths say nothing of Adam, but speak of Lilith's creative, protective, and sustaining nature. She is forever Maiden, free and of herself, yet she is also a Mother to her people; feeding them and protecting them from harm. She weeps when they are hurt and for the destruction she herself must cause as part of nature. Lilith seems in all ways to be a complete image of Goddess; Maiden, Mother, and Crone.

Lilith has also been linked with the Goddess Inanna. It is possible that glimpses of Lilith's oldest images may be found in Inanna's myths as well.During my research I saw many references to Lilith as a demon and not as a Goddess. Could she perhaps be another demonized version of the Great Goddess that was made out to be evil by the influx of new religions who wanted to gain control over the people? Check out some of the links in this post and decide for yourself.

A Mother's Lesson in Words

2008-08-04T18:32:00.011-04:00

I'm posting this little tid-bit of my childhood as part of my Mama Monday celebration.

One of my earliest memories is of my mother teaching me to succeed. When I would say "I can't do it." after failing at a task, my mother would say very succinctly, "There is no such word as can't." I was too little at the time to rebut by informing her that I could simply say "can not" (or is it cannot?) and I would indeed be using real words instead of a conjunction. But that's not really the point. The lesson she was teaching me was that I can do anything I set my mind to and by saying "I can't" I am just making an excuse to fail.

While my mother was never one to hold back a swear word or two, she never let me say things like "I hate such and such" or "I'm gonna kill whatshisface". In fact the word hate was probably the biggest swear word in my house. I was not allowed to hate anything or anyone. Instead I had to get creative and expand my vocabulary at an early age in order to express my disgust of something. If I did accidently let a curse word drop I only really got in big trouble if I said it out of anger towards someone else. Even so, I didn't know the really bad swear words until I was an adult because my mother wasn't one for obligatory vulgarity.

When I was growing up hearing my mother correct my words was a giant nuisance. As an adult I find that I am teaching my daughter the same things; teaching her that she can do anything, teaching her not to hate - to be tolerant and accepting, teaching her not to express her emotions violently (even if we never really mean we're going to kill someone when we say we want to).

The more I thought about all of this it seemed to be about intent and the meanings behind our words, as we think of it metaphysical terms. The things we say can have a profound effect on our own energy, not to mention someone else's. Learning to express ourselves in less negative ways can only be beneficial to ourselves and everyone around us.

So, without even knowing it, my mother was teaching me a very important, magic(k)al lesson. I'm glad that, now that I am all grown up, I can appreciate the subtle lessons of my mother and pass them on to my own daughter.

Pic: Picasso's Mother and Child

Interpreting Cernunnos

2008-08-01T13:17:00.004-04:00

Above: The Gundestrup Cauldron

Mahud at Between Old and New Moons recently posed the question: "So Who is This Cernunnos Dude?". Surf over to read his post and learn about his great A-Z concept, then come back and read my comments. Or stay on his page and read my comments. Totally up to you.

What follows is my interpretation of Cernunnos based on the image on the Gundestrup Cauldron - which I have looked at many times seeking answers about this God.

As was said, Cernunnos is often pictured seated. Because of this, and the way he seems to be sitting in a lotus position, I tend to think of him as a kind of Buddha figure and a symbol for the human journey towards enlightenment.

Because of his antlers I have come to see him as a bridge between humanity and nature/the Divine and nature, and also the immanent force of Divinity in all life. He is a symbol for everything wild or untamed in us - a direct connection to the natural world.

He holds a torque in one hand and a serpent in the other. Both of these symbols have multiple interpretations. I see the torque as representing cycles, eternity, and the Goddess. Interesting how he is already wearing a torque of his own. I wonder if he might be offering the other torque in his hand to us. Could he be saying you too could "wear the torque" and reach enlightenment?

The snake is also a Goddess symbol. I have often wondered if he is choking the snake or simply holding it. Could the snake represent wisdom and thus be something to possess? Or maybe it's phallic? I'm not sure.

The way each item is held equidistant in each hand might show Cernunnos as a balancing force. This might further be illustrated by the animals surrounding him. Most of the prey animals are on his right while the predators, much more violent in appearance, are on his left.

Also within the Gundestrup image are representations of plants - perhaps seedlings of some kind. Most, but not all, of the plants appear to have the same shape as a womb, with fallopian tubes and a uterus clearly outlined. This could have obvious fertility connotations, with Cernunnos personifying the male aspect with the female aspect illustrated by the plants and symbolizing Nature, Mother Earth, Goddess.

Create-a-Goddess

2008-07-31T17:45:00.006-04:00

In honor of Thou Art Goddess Thursday I'm announing a fun little Goddess doll making game. You can mix and match bodies, faces, head scarves, and pockets. Then add some hair, accessories: earrings, amulets, glasses, mermaid fins, and more.

This is meant as a fun game of dress up for kids and grown-ups both, but you can also create an avatar (a Goddess that describes your personality) to add to your blog or web page. Check out mine at the left.

Mix and match, or hit the randomize button to see what happens. Just sit back, relax, have some fun, and explore the possibilities.

Each and every one of us - no matter who we are, what our dreams may be, what we believe, who we love - is Goddess.

Panthea's Create-a-Goddess

Mama Monday and Miscellany

2008-07-28T20:28:00.003-04:00

So I've been posting a lot lately, sometimes more than once a day. I've made a bit of time for Panthea lately, but it seems to be the only thing I've been able to make time for. I have emails I haven't answered, paintings to finish, laundry piling up, books to read, etc. Ah such is life I suppose. But I must say I am really loving the new layout. I loved the last one too but I couldn't manage to get over how weird it looked in Fire Fox. This one looks great in everything except the evil that is IE6. Anyway, hope everyone else likes it too. I think it will be around for some time.

Now onto Mama Monday goodness...

Above: Mother Love Goddesses from Amazon Earthworks

I was surfing around for something completely unrelated (can't remember what right now) when I wandered into Amazon Earthworks. I was suddenly inspired and entranced by the beautiful little Goddess altar items and vessels created by master potter, Margarite.

"When I combine clay, stones, feathers and other natural elements in my work, I am weaving the web and telling the story. We remember and reclaim the vital heritage of womyn as artists, creators of culture."

Everything was so pretty and I badly wanted the little white Goddess figure above. So I figured instead of spending some money I don't have I will simply share them with all of you. If any of you feels the need to purchase one of those lovely items please let me know so I can live vicariously. Hopefully one day soon I can gather up some change from all the pop cans I have waiting to be recycled (I drink soda instead of coffee) and support such talented and purposeful artists.

Is Goddess Religion Pagan?

2008-07-28T14:53:00.011-04:00

According to the Pagan Pride Internation Website a Pagan is defined as:

A Pagan or NeoPagan is someone who self-identifies as a Pagan, and whose spiritual or religious practice or belief fits into one or more of the following categories:

Honoring, revering, or worshipping a Deity or Deities found in pre-Christian, classical, aboriginal, or tribal mythology; and/or
Practicing religion or spirituality based upon shamanism, shamanic, or magickal practices; and/or
Creating new religion based on past Pagan religions and/or futuristic views of society, community, and/or ecology;
Focusing religious or spiritual attention primarily on the Divine Feminine; and/or
Practicing religion that focuses on earth based spirituality.

While I realize that this definition is coming from a single source, I find that source to be one that appears representative of the population. None of the points above say anything to exclude Goddess Religion. On the contrary I think each of them is inclusive of it.

Is it possible to say "All Pagans are Goddessians but not all Goddessians are Pagans" or "All Goddessians are Pagan but not all Pagans are Goddessian"? In my opinon there doesn't appear to be a real seperation between the two (which may be because I find it near impossible to be a Goddess worshipper and/or a Pagan without revering nature), but I do feel a distinct desire for Goddessians to seperate themselves from the Pagan mainstream, even if it's in label alone. It's possible this could be because of a curve towards patriarchal influences in Modern Paganism, but I don't think that's the whole story.

From my persepective a lot of Goddessians have been moving towards religiosity. Now that's touchy, but let me try to elaborate a little. Goddessians (people who identify themselves as Goddess Worshippers) are often focused on things like worship, ritual, community/fellowship, the building of temples, structure balanced with consensus, etc. The Goddessians I know that are solitary are not so by choice but by lack of options. I have also noticed that there is a more willing acceptance of syncretic beliefs, meaning less bickering over semantics, details, etc. I think this is because those of us who have been touched by the Goddess understand that not everyone is touched in the same way, because that is the nature of how Goddess works.

I've also noticed that there are Goddessians moving away from New Age ideas and choosing instead to root their spirituality in the Earth, in the mundane, and in reality. Perhaps that may be because the Age of Aquarius has been lost on us, or we've become disenchanted by it. Or perhaps we've moved away from the "Light Worker Mentality" because we've relearned that nature is our true guide; that the Goddess shows us how the universe works through the changing of seasons, the cycles of the moon, and the overall rythyms of the Earth.

When it feels as though all of nature is speaking to you there seems no need for New Agey divining and channeled excerpts on the Star Seed Theory. Perhaps the time of Victorian seances, Theosophy, and Spiritualism is no longer appealing to some folks. Could it be that (thanks in part to the liberation of the New Age movement) we now have the freedom to choose what we believe in and something new and different is on the horizon?

New Age, or what some may even call "fluffy" concepts, are very common in Paganism and sort of come with the territory. I'm not saying this is a bad thing. Everyone should be given the opportunity to experience Divinity and their spirituality freely and individually. But, I think the "fluffiness" has pulled some Goddessians to think about how we define ourselves.

I also think that Pagan is perhaps too broad a term and it doesn't really explain what we believe succinctly enough. If I say I'm Pagan it's not clear that I am a Goddess Worshipper. But Goddessian is pretty darn clear, defining exactly what my spirituality entails in one little word.

So, is Goddess Religion Pagan? I think it really is. I thinks it's also a tradition (or multiple traditions) within Paganism. Goddessian itself can be an umbrella term which includes all Goddess paths. In that case a Shaktist is Hindu and Goddessian. But are they Pagan? Wow, that's a whole other post which goes beyond the Goddessian connection to Modern Paganism specifically.

In closing, I think that it's okay to question the labels we give ourselves and realize that many might be correct in definition, but there is usually only one that fits just right.

These are my opinions based on my experiences. I am not presuming to say this is how all Pagans or all Goddessians believe, think, act, etc. If you have similar or different experiences, please take a moment to share and get some conversations started.

For more on this topic read the posts that inspired it:

Trends in Feminist Spirituality @ Medusa Coils

Is Goddess Religion Still Pagan? @ the Wild Hunt

The Goddess Movement and Definitions @ Firehawk's Nest

Picture found at GetReligion.org.

Goddess Writing Prompts

2008-07-28T13:40:00.013-04:00

I once created an entire list of weekly blog writing prompts or memes (pronounced meems). Some of them were silly and some of them were meant to be completely serious. The two that I felt were most relevant to Goddess-y things are listed below.

Thou Art Goddess Thursday

This idea was a life changing one for me, and it changed the tone of this blog as well. See the post Everything's Coming up Goddess for all the background info and examples you need to create your own "Thou Art Goddess Thursday" posts.

There are many ways to celebrate Thou Art Goddess Thursday. I have posted my first ever T.A.G. Thurs. post below. More examples follow and will be added as I find them. Also check the comments of this post.

I think the key to getting the most out of this one way (below) is to make your posts open and honest and not too edited. Just let it all out (your gripes, your thankfullness, your love, your pain) and remember it's all Goddess.

The cigarette - potentially deadly; toxic, billowing spirals of smoke around my head like "my own locomotive" as Billy Collins said - this is Goddess. The grocery store clerk who makes me want to call her a dumb ass - she is Goddess. My mother - who drives me nuts and makes me love her fiercely all at the same time - she is Goddess. My daughter - my source of giggles and faithful partner in ice cream crime - she is most definitely Goddess. The people I look at with disgust - like twenty year olds who wear jeans so low their labia are almost visible or their boyfriends with their hats spun sideways and a chunk of fake diamonds around their necks - they are Goddess. My neighbors who I all too often think of as white trash - they are Goddess. My Circle mates - they are Goddess - Goddess of much needed laughter, love, and spiritual connection. My best friend - long time support system and my journeying companion - she is very much Goddess; the Goddess of no-panties.

View Thou Art Goddess Thursday Posts @ Panthea

More Thou Art Goddess Thursday Bloggers and Their Posts...

7.31.08 - Terri @ Aquila ka Hecate
7.31.08 - Lavender @ Bruised Reality

Mama Monday

I've seen some Goddess-specific or Pagan bloggers write posts like "Saturday Goddess Blogging" by Hecate. It's not a regular thing most of the time, but a spontaneous "Insert Day Here Goddess Blogging" sort of idea. Mama Monday is a writing prompt that basically reminds us that every Monday there is always something you could be writing about on your blog. Call it "Monday Goddess Blogging" if you like.

You could make these posts as detailed or as simple as you like. Tell a long tale of your experience with the Goddess or just type some general correspondences and background myth behind one of her faces. Maybe you could take the opportunity to learn about a Goddess you've never even heard of or delve deeper into a Goddess who has been calling to you for some time? Perhaps you might post a prayer or chant? Or maybe even write one of your own?

If anyone uses these prompts on their own blog, why not let everyone know where to find your post by using the comments link below?

Goddess Newsletters and E-zines

2008-07-27T22:23:00.004-04:00

The newest edition of the Goddess Gift Newsletter/E-zine is online. In this issue:

The Goddess Has A Lesson
Wandering in the Wilderness
Mazu: The Goddess Who Rescues
Yemaya, She Who Comforts
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

Also check out Matrifocus , a cross-quarterly e-zine chock full of valuable Goddess info. The current issue is Beltane 2008, but Lughnasadh should be coming soon. Regular features inlude:

Articles
Poetry
Photo essays
Book reviews

There are other Goddess publications that require subscriptions but are no less valuable.

This is by no means a complete list. Do some Googling and make your own discoveries.

Goddess Blogging Round-up

2008-07-25T15:20:00.004-04:00

I think I am going to make this a bit of a regular attempt, though I notice there are times when the topic of the Goddess is more active than others. So since I noticed a lot of good Goddess content on the web recently, I thought I would gather some links in one spot and let you guys surf around to your heart's content. This is also a good way for me to keep track of all the topics that I want to ponder and possibly create future posts of my own on.

One June 11, 2008 Carol P. Christ talked about the "Ethics of Goddess Religion" on the Women and Spirituality blog.

Last week in a cave in Crete 17 women pilgrims solemnly affirmed nine touchstones of the ethics of Goddess religion in front of a naturally formed stalactite altar used by the Minoans more that 3500 years ago.

The topic of whether or not Goddess Religion was still Pagan floated around a few blogs last week. I think the original catalyst came from Judith at Medusa Coils. I have been developing my own theories on this one, but as usual I'm taking my time about it.

Trends in Feminist Spirituality from Medusa Coils:

Feeding into seeing Goddess as a distinct path of Paganism is the feeling among participants in some Pagan groups that patriarchal practices or attitudes which led them to leave Abrahamic religions have made their way into some Pagan groups.

Then led to a response from Jason at the Wild Hunt Blog which seemed to lead to a few folks linking to it and spreading it around nicely.

Ailia at Paleothea has been posting some really interesting stuff lately as well such as the two posts quoted below.

Was There Ever a Goddess and What Was She Like?

It makes a great deal of sense to me personally that separating one’s worship from oneself physically - either by worshiping an utterly non-corporal deity, or locating the deity far from one’s experience of the world (e.g. in Heaven), or theologically denying physical experience (such as death) - might put the feminine divine at a disadvantage. As a woman, I root a number of my conceptions of my own gender in my body’s (hypothetical) ability to produce life. I am extremely aware that this has been a crucial definition for my foremothers. Thus it seems “only natural” that feminine deities - particularly the Great Ones - should include as a crucial element of their identity the creation (and potentially destruction) of physical life.

Athena the Misogynist

Go online, and it is easy to find scores of sites dedicated to Athena as the patron Goddess of good feminist neo-pagans. In my opinion, however, Athena was more of a product and purveyor of “the patriarchy” than any other Goddess in the Olympic pantheon. There was no other goddess with such power in the (Athenian) populace, and this came from the very fact that her power was not that of a feminist revolutionary, but rather the embodiment of the patriarchy as the parthenogenic daughter of The Father (Zeus). The oppression of women had been Athena’s realm since she founded Athens (and decreed that women shouldn’t vote or be citizens). Sex was an important tool for that oppression (keeping in mind the fact that gender identity and erotic desire can and should be distinguished) as illustrated in the myths surrounding the House of Athens.

Book Tag, I'm It!

2008-07-25T10:29:00.005-04:00

A while back Evn tagged me with a little meme. I didn't notice it before (because I'm a bad blog-girl) so it's a little late in coming.

This reminds me of how much I miss TV Tag. I have a distinct memory of crawling between my cousin's feet and yelling "Wonder Woman!" while trying not to get tagged myself, thus leaving me helplessly frozen until someone crawled through my legs yelling out vintage television shows. Good times.

So, here are my instructions. Fortunately, this page will not self destruct in 15 seconds. But I might.

Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).

Open the book to page 123.

Find the fifth sentence.

Post the next three sentences.

Tag five people.

The nearest book on hand is the mass market, paperback romance I am currently reading while in bed at night/on the toilet, loaned to me by my dear BFF.

The 5th, 6th, and 7th sentences on page 123 of Blood Brothers by Nora Roberts:

"All right. Connections." She knodded. "I'm more in favor than ever about the theory regarding connections."

That might technically be considered four sentences since... yep four periods there. But I liked the whole thing as a quasi-meaningful snippet from an otherwise meaningless source of entertainment escape. To me it seems oddly synchronistic.

I'm not sure I can come up with five people who haven't already been tagged by this meme, so I will hold off on that. Or, how about five people take it upon themselves to complete this meme and let me know about it? Then I can just list you here. I am a lazy meme-er.

In Her Image: Manufacturing the Dark Goddess

2008-07-21T15:22:00.018-04:00

Humanity has a tendency to create Deity in its own image. We make it what we need it to be to suit our current situation. While spirituality is an instinctively personal experience, and many times personifying Deity can be a valued way to connect, therein lies problems when we forget that nothing is ever really that cut and dry. Especially with a deity as multifaceted as the Great Goddess.

There is a trend among some individuals to use Goddess as a crutch. There are those who choose to work exclusively with personal interpretations of “dark” Goddesses as a way of justifying their harmful actions. It’s almost as though they create a Goddess they believe will carry their banner of anger and allow them to be a jerk for the simple sake of being a jerk. They believe the Goddess hates Christians, men, etc. because they need her to hate them in order to feel righteous.

It’s easy to get lost in a theology that seems to have no hard and fast rules. In Goddess Religion and most of Modern Paganism morality is a very touchy, hotly debated subject most often left up to the individual. There are no commandments, no laws save one. Do no harm.

Self responsibility is a key lesson of the Goddess in general. Everyone is going to cause some amount of harm in their lives. The ability to accept the injury we cause, deal with the consequences, and learn from our experiences is not always so effortless. It’s much easier to create a personal image of Deity that makes us feel better about the choices we’ve made.

Creating Goddess as we see fit in order to validate destructive behavior or misguided beliefs simply shrugs off personal responsibility, much like an oil slick slipping off the hull of a ship. It’s not okay to cause damage simply because we’ve manufactured an image of Goddess that would raise her fist in support of our self-righteous indulgences. She will never stand idly by while we pollute ourselves and the world around us with pain. Karma will inevitably be knocking at the proverbial front door.

Perhaps if there is such a thing as sin, it exists only in the moments when we hurt another. Of course, as was already said, nothing is ever that cut and dry. Some moral concepts are open to debate, with various shades of grey perceptions. Others still are more or less black and white.

It’s difficult to discuss morality as an idea without falling back into the concepts of “right” and “wrong”. While many of us might be trying to escape such polarities, and the polar thought processes that come along with them, it’s nearly impossible to exist in a society without identifying what is considered right and what is considered wrong. On the path of the Goddess these ideas are not determined by society, but by the natural laws of the Goddess. The oneness of the Goddess, being that she is inherently balanced, calls for everything in nature to be in balance as well. As human beings we are no more removed from nature than the tree outside our windows. Even though we may presume to be “civilized” or better than our wild animal kin, we are still of nature and subject to Her laws.

Adultery, as an example of a moral concept with various shades of grey, is not wrong because it leaves us destined to go to some make believe land of fire and torture after death. Nor is it wrong because sex is something to be ashamed of. It is wrong because promises are being broken and there is potential to cause great harm. Goddess doesn’t sneak into bedrooms at night, tip-toeing about the Berber carpet and peeking under the sheets to make sure it’s our spouse we’re sleeping with. She doesn’t care who we choose to share our bodies with so long as no one is getting burned in the wake of our passions.

Indeed our bodies belong to us alone and no one can be “owned” by another. And some people don’t believe in the trappings of marriage, but then why not just not be married? Imagining Goddess as a deity who agrees with sexual liberation and autonomy is one thing, but it is not within our rights to wound another individual without assuming there will be some consequences to deal with.

Then we have to beg the question of love. If you’re in a marriage and either you or your partner fall in love with someone else, is that wrong? Can love ever be wrong? Maybe in such a situation the best thing to do is to cause as little harm as possible while still following your heart. There may be some things that are just not up to us. In certain cases perhaps things are just meant to be. But it is helpful to remember that most matters still contain elements of choice.

Hating, as a black and white example, is wrong not because an old book tells us to love our neighbors. No matter who causes us injury and how unjust it is, hate fills the world with pain and anger like a nasty venereal virus. It’s infectious, destructive, and creates separation. No amount of deity-manufacturing will change that.

Now it’s not being proposed that we should sit around feeling bad for the harm we've caused throughout the course of our lives. It's useless to dwell in the past, wishing we could find the rewind button and make things different. We also shouldn't assume we are bad people by any stretch. Mistakes, accidents, poor choices, etc. are just a part of life. Without them what would there be to learn from? The point is to accept responsibility as opposed to using the Goddess to justify ourselves.

Things can get a bit sticky when we decide to bypass the qualities of Goddess that we merely find unpleasant or useless, be they of the light or dark variety. It's counterproductive to accept only her "light" qualities or only her "dark" qualities. She’s sort of a packaged deal and stripping her of any one of her innate qualities robs us of her full power and of our full potential as human beings.

Those who are healing from emotional wounds may logically choose to construe an image of Goddess who supports their feelings of being wronged; an image that somehow advocates the revenge brewing inside their hearts. In those cases a dark Goddess (created as a being who detests who we detest) may be a comforting shoulder to lean on and a protector in a daunting, painful world. She is created by our own ego to make us feel right without judging or questioning our motivations. She simply says “You’re righteous. You’re good. I’m here to support you and any harm you feel just in causing.” She allows us to say things like “I am mean to her because she hurt me” or “They deserve it”.

Is embracing a solely dark and vengeful image of Goddess, who picks and chooses which children to love over others, really the road to becoming a whole person? To healing on a soul level? Isn’t that image incomplete? Where is the loving Mother who teaches compassion for all life? Where is the Maiden with her lessons of personal freedom and choice? Where is the old Crone, full of experience and wisdom? Is it she who is hiding inside these personal and convoluted faces of the Dark Goddess?

Images of the Dark Goddess abound throughout time. Many of these dark portrayals are later additions to the pantheon of Female Divinity, contributed by patriarchal influences that wished to demonized the ancient Goddess and strip her of the captivating power she held over the people of the Earth. These patriarchal forces made the Goddess into a demented fear-monger who stole little children away and ate them for supper. All of the qualities that bring us closer to nature and thus to the Goddess were stripped away and turned into bogeymen and monsters.

The point was to make the Goddess something to be terrified of as opposed to something to accept and embrace. They misunderstood her powers of necessary destruction, her connection with the baseness of humanity, and the mysteries of death. They didn’t see that the darkness was a symbol for the forces in the universe that scare us; the unknown, the painful, the things we can’t control.

So why are we believing the hype? Why are we drinking the kool-aid of the patriarchal cults and grabbing a hold of the images they created as our own symbols of power, liberation, and justification? Is it purely to suit our personal agendas of being angry, wronged individuals driven by a self-righteous belief that we are owed something because life just isn’t fair? How does it help to imagine the Goddess as someone who punishes and detests those of her children who wrong the others? How does it help to think of her as a being that delights in the pain of "wrong-doers"? Isn't that the image of God we were trying to escape from in the first place when we chose to leave the war-god mentality behind in favor of the Goddess?

There is a difference between reclaiming a symbol for the purpose of liberation; taking that which was meant to frighten us or degrade us and turning it out onto the unjust systems who created it; and utilizing that symbol to enable injustice ourselves. One is an act of reclaiming personal power. The other is an act of vengeance.

The reality of the Dark Goddess is that she is at times that terrifying, ugly hag. She is not there to fuel our anger or justify the harm we cause, but to teach us of those things that are not often beautiful, that are sometimes unknowable, and that we are not always willing to embrace.

The Dark Goddess calls to us to understand the darkness of death and destruction and know that it is purposeful. She beckons us to look within ourselves, see those dark, scary shadows, and love them. She is the destroyer of egos, not a tool to be used to perpetuate our own secret darkness.

The Goddess is whole and complete, taking us by the hand in order to guide us to our own completion. Listen to all of her voices, gaze upon all of her faces. Only then can we truly know her and love her in her totality.

Picture courtesy of the BBC.

Love is the Whole of the Law...

2008-07-13T13:04:00.010-04:00

Or so I thought. Apparently love is only the whole of the law if you carry your reproductive parts on the inside.

Well it looks like I pissed someone off. Debi (a self proclaimed women's liberationist) of the Corvid Diaries has taken some offense to just about every word I have posted over the last few days. Some have been addressed in the comments of this previous post here. Another one I think deserves front page attention so I'm responding to it below.

Debi said: "I'm actually disgusted that anybody would presume to speak with the words of the goddess, and in such a patronising tone. It is utterly disrespectful both to the goddess and to all women of earth to do so."

Rhondda said: (commented on the Corvid Diaries) "Yes, I do agree with you. I really dislike making the Goddess a monotheistic entity. For me she is life in all her diversity. She is not an either/or and she is not a role to play. She is deep connection and as Mary Daly says a verb and not a noun."

See all comments from Debi's post here: Apparently Even the Goddess can be Patronizing Sometimes...

The Goddess (emphasis on THE) has a million names and faces, yet remains ONE. All life is a manifestation of her which means all life is divine. This also means both men and women are Goddess. Re: All Things Are Goddess. By presuming that no one can speak with the words of the Goddess you only succeed in making her out to be that monotheistic deity who is untouchable, not connected to her creation, etc. Sheesh, why not just call her Yahweh? She is both verb and noun and everything in between. There is no way to say she is this and not that. She is unlimited and never black and white. You make her what you want her to be and that's fine, but not when it's solely to fit into your argument and help you rationalize all of the injustice you yourself are causing.

She is not a role to play? Are you even Pagan? First of all no one needs to play at the role because we already are Goddess. Second, that's exactly what a priestess does every time she performs ritual - whether she in a group or solitary. See Drawing Down the Moon (the ritual not the book). Embodiment of the Goddess is what's supposed to happen.

I am willing to bet that if my comments weren't presumed to be anti-fem than I would've gotten "lovely post" or at the very least nothing at all. But because certain sensibilities were stepped on now it's fair game on the little Goddessian girl who believes she is divine - as Goddess teaches. How dare I? Rest assured it won't be the last time I "presume" to be Goddess. While you're blasting me about it do be sure to trample on Doreen Valiente, Starhawk, and countless others who have dared to speak the words of the Goddess. *gasp*

By the way, did you even read the first paragraph of that post? If flat out says I asked myself what would Goddess do and that's what came out. I said this is what I think she would say. When did I ever claim to be speaking for her or anyone else?

Wow, someone says something positive and this is what happens? Someone basically says "let's love each other" and this is what happens? And yet the statement "all men are rapists" (because all men are capable of rape apparently) gets applause. Well it's finally happened. I've officially slipped into a crazy cosmic bunny hole of nonsense. That's just the most ridiculous, sexist BS I've ever had the displeasure of reading. What an outlandish statement. Kudos for having brass ones, by the way. I'm ashamed to be of the same species, let alone the same gender of someone who could utter such rubbish. Why not just say all people are murderers because we're all capable of it? Anyone and everyone is "capable" of every atrocity ever committed. Wake up!

Men are not evil and woman are not just the sweet, unconditionally loving, innocent victims. I am no one's victim and I will not allow myself to follow a line of thinking that has women acting like they are rabid animals trapped in a friggin' cage. Seriously, that kind of attitude towards men is reminiscent of Hitler's attitude toward the Jews. Watch out! Here comes the gestapo! "Where are zee men? We must take zem and cut zeir nuts off!" Take your self righteous indignation and passive-aggressive sexual terrorism somewhere else.

As those of you who visit often know, I rarely get this fired up. Funny thing is, I'm not really all that mad. I'm happy and having a great day. People are smiling, life is good. I tend to think of my posts as usually pretty positive. Unless of course I'm bitching about Kirk Cameron or something. :) I try very hard to address comments and different opinions as politely as possible. Everyone deserves to have their say. This is the main reason I don't moderate comments and I allow for anonymous people to post. But, I think this is the first and last I'm going to say about this situation in an actual blog post. While there may be comments pouring in eventually I won't be taking it the front page again. Well unless I get pissed enough to do so. *wink* Yay for blogs: creative/bitching outlets.

pic: Light from the Heart Nebula from Astronomy Pic of the Day

Mama Said Knock it Off

2008-07-12T00:00:00.004-04:00

I have noticed lately that there is a lot of man hating going on. At least that's what it seems like to me. Maybe I'm looking at things from a different angle. I am very willing to admit that, but I'm feeling some real bashing towards the boys that isn't sitting right with me. In situations such as this I look towards what some would call a bit of a cliche: What Would Goddess Do? Well I believe Mama, as I like to call her, would say something like this:

"Knock it off girls. Be angry at the patriarchy, be angry at years of female oppression and misogyny, be angry at the societies and religions who teach our men from an early age to turn their backs on me. But stop lashing out at the boys who are as much my sons as you are my daughters. They are Goddess too, penises and all. And they are as much victims of this time as any one of you. They too have been robbed of their Mother for millenia.

My law is love unto all beings and I teach the oneness of all things. Separation is not my way. Find common ground. Teach of my mysteries in tolerance and compassion. Remove words like man-hater, male-bashing, etc. from your lexicons. Neither sex should be under the thumb of the other. Strive not to replace the patriarchy with a matriarchy but with a system that embraces all people as equal and divine. Be dreamers and seek the Utopia I intended for you since the beginning of time.

Remember that as women you are the teachers and the keepers of culture. With this comes responsibility to future generations. Raise your sons in my image. Teach them equality and respect for all life. Teach them how to love selflessly and with all of their hearts. And give your daughters the same with strength, courage, and compassion to raise their children well in their time. Know that things will not improve so long as fear, hate, and intolerance are the things that fuel your passion for change."

Prayer to Mother Demeter

2008-07-11T18:17:00.005-04:00

Mother,
I must make this journey
of life alone
But I know always
that you are with me.
Your hand...
will never leave my hand.
Your heart...
will never be far from mine.
We are always together...
always one.

Though I must journey alone I ask
That you lend me your strength...
in times of need,
Your shoulder...
in times of sorrow,
Your smile...
in times of joy,
And your love always.

When the time comes
I shall return to you again
As in all things
there is a cycle
That has no end.

- From the Meditation and Worship section of The Temple of Demeter @ Panthea

Battle of the Sex Hormones

2008-07-11T00:03:00.005-04:00

I was reading Athana's blog again today and stumbled across some talk of testosterone poisoning. The context of it was mainly regarding sex offenders and how the hormone might play a role in such crimes. I kind of have a small amount of insight into this - at least when it comes to testosterone in women.

You see, I have polycystic ovary syndrome or PCOS for short. It's caused by a high level of blood sugar which then messes with egg viability and hormone balance. Consequently one of the symptoms of PCOS is an excess amount of testosterone. Now everyone has it, but I have more than the average woman. I don't have male characteristics by any stretch, but I have seen some of the effects of this hormone in my life.

I can whole heartedly agree that testosterone can lead to agression, depression, etc. There have been times in my life when I am simply pissed off for no apparent reason. Is there really anyone out there who hasn't been? Ladies, when your moon time comes around wouldn't you say you get a little on edge at times? Anyway, testosterone may well be the culprit, but I don't think it's the only thing we can point to as far as sex crimes in men go. It sort of sounds like a crutch. Instead of saying "the devil made him do it" we could say "it was too much testosterone". Sounds like an excuse to be an asshole. It also sounds like we are allowing nature to be the only deciding factor. Could I get away with smacking someone because I have PCOS? Nope. Assault charges are inevitable in that case and that's the way it should be. I am responsible for my actions. I make my own decisions.

Let's not forget testosterone is not a bad thing. It serves its purpose in both men and women. Without it there would be no more people being born. Straight girls: how would you feel if your partner didn't want you ever? Some of you might be thinking "if only!", but eventually you would start to think you were no longer attractive to him or any other man. That sucks and also robs you of your sexuality through rejection that leads to low self worth, etc.

I guess my main point here is that nothing is ever that black and white. It's just not. Men and their hormone are not the root of all evil. Too much of anything is bad. Too much estrogen can cause cancer, life effecting pms, depression, and postpartum. Shall we say that someone who is estrogen poisoned could be more likely to leave their newborn in a dumpster? Would that be an acceptable excuse? I don't think so.

In the spirit of Thou Art Goddess Thursday - which I just missed by a few minutes - tesetosterone is Goddess, estrogen is Goddess, men are Goddess, women are Goddess, all things are Goddess. Now I'm going to go take my glucophage and keep my hormones balanced.

Escaping or Incubating a Miracle

2008-07-10T13:32:00.012-04:00

Since Midsummer I've found that I am needing more solitude than I have in a long time. I feel very alone but I realize I am alienating myself purposely. I could chalk it up to a bit of stress - which I think is accurate - but I also feel there is some other, underlying reason for desiring only my own company.

What I know is that I haven't been painting, writing, etc. It seems all of my creative energy is trapped inside and not yet ready to come out. I am doing all of the "taking in" instead by getting lost in stories. I love stories. Even the fluffy romance novels I began reading as a kid. Not the trashy kind of novel, but the feel-good mass market romances with hints of supernatural things and a strong plot line. Those are my favorite. I've also been watching movies and catching up some tv.

This is certainly some kind of escape mechanism, because I not only watch/read these things but find myself daydreaming about them later. Can anyone deliver Tom Welling to my house wrapped in a big red bow and nothing else? But I digress. Or do I? Aren't these daydreams ways that my subconcious mind is trying to tell me that I'm missing something in my life? Or is it just as simple as the fanciful thoughts of a woman who has always had her head shoved up in the nimbus?

So what I am trying to escape from? Or am I really trying to escape at all? Could it be that there are things I am nourishing that are just not ready to be born yet? There are pregnancies all around me lately. Maybe this is my way of sympathizing, albeit subconsciously. Maybe after a rough year a whole new me is about to come into the world; fresh and new and ready to meet all the challenges that life tends to toss out.

What you are getting here are little insights into the workings of my mind. I didn't plan this post. It just showed up here on the screen spontaneously. The mind at work is fueled by the Goddess and her lessons. There are few things in my life that are not influenced by her. This makes perfect sense. The way a person thinks and what a person believes is the driving force behind their actions and decisions.

So what I see after typing all this out is that the Mother aspect of the Goddess has settled in over me and I will soon be rebirthing myself into something different; into someone I need to be. And suddenly I am excited about such a prospect and looking forward to the days ahead. Look out world. Here I come.

Pic: my feet in my old brown boots (complete with paint drippings) and a lovely little daisy growing all by itself in my back lawn.

Back to Blogging Basics

2008-07-09T23:26:00.006-04:00

So I gave the place a little redesign as you regular folks can probably see. I've decided it's time to get back to the basics of what this blog was intended to be.

I guess I thought all the superfluous stuff would up my traffic, increase comments, etc. But after seeing no real change I just figure it's best to stop clogging up the sidebar with a million unnecessary widgets and thing-a-ma-jigs. It's the content that counts and that's what I should be focused on. Not all the annoying bells and whistles.

I hope everyone likes the new design. It looks a little less than perfect in Safari (sorry mac users) and it's made for a big resolution. If you feel so inclined to let me know how it looks to you I would be greatly appreciative.

Oh, I would also like some opinions on something. I've been toying around with the idea of moving Panthea to blogspot. I already use blogger but I use my own webspace to host this blog. What do you guys think? It would be at a blogspot address (pantheablog.blogspot.com) that I suppose I could eventually get a domain for - and I would have to deal with the blogger nav bar at the top of my pages. The perks: easy publishing and a bunch of other tools that make things super cool and easy. Any thoughts? My other thought was wordpress, but I can't move all of my posts over there as easy as I would like. I've tried. Grr.

Now, let's see if I can come up with something blog worthly in the days ahead. Sometimes inspiration is knocking all the time and I could blog all day. Other times there's like some great void spinning through my mind and no words seem to come. Sentences get especially tough. :) Hopefully I can get some more temples done soon and get back on track.

Pic: the little harvest Goddess in my garden.

Goddess Bless This Garden

2008-07-09T22:31:00.007-04:00

Goddess, Bless this Garden
With the peace and love of lavender,
The purity of sage,
The vigorous strength of yarrow,
and the wisdom of mugwort.
Whether there is rain or shining sun
Let my garden be a place of healing and happiness.
So mote it be.

Pic: A garden sign that I made sitting among my overgrown catmint and an old terra cotta pot.

I Have No Broom Closet

2008-06-19T09:45:00.011-04:00

Or linen closet... or front hall closet for hanging coats in... or pantry. I barely have enough of a closet to hang my clothes in. Well what do you want? I live in a hundred year old house that used to be owned by crazy people. That last bit is based on the various home improvement projects I've tried to tackle over the past four years. Who stuffs a hole in the wall with paper towel then wallpapers love hearts over it? Who lays down carpet padding with a staple every friggin centimeter? Crazy-like-the-Shining people. That's who. I have nightmares about a guy with 1975 lambchop sideburns, a porn-stache, and a staple gun chanting "all work and no play..." Shudder.

This is basically a blog response to Monday's Wild Hunt post about the recent lack of figurative broom closets in the Pagan community. I don't have one and I'm not sure I ever did. Well okay, maybe there was a time in my early Pagan days where I was more worried about what people thought. As time went on I decided I didn't care a single bit. Everyone who knows me now knows that I am a Pagan priestess of the Goddess. I'm not ashamed. On the contrary, I'm proud of the fact. It's something I worked hard for so I see no need to hide it. Then again I don't go around advertising the fact either. I don't wear a shirt proclaiming my Pagan-ness nor do I just blurt it out to people I've just met.

I guess I don't really believe in the secrecy thing. How can other people learn anything if we aren't willing to be open and honest about what we do? This not only turns off other seekers but makes the mainstream folks uneducated and scared of us. And we know what happens when people get scared. Someone undoubtedly gets burned at the stake - sometimes figuratively and sometimes not so much.

With the exception of not wanting to give my kooky Southern Baptist Granny a coronary by using words that would trigger her devil-worship-radar, I am open about my beliefs. Gran knows I believe in the Goddess, that I don't believe in the Bible, and that I believe nature is sacred. That about sums things up and prevents agitating the elderly.

I take my honest and open approach pretty seriously and I refuse to play the Rumpelstiltskin game. What I mean by that is that I have known some people who keep their magic(k)al names secret because they believe someone will then have power over them. This measures a whopping 9.6 on my BS scale. (Granny passed some of her radar skills down to me I guess, but I use mine for the good.) Names are names. Go ahead and call me Fandula the Love Pig if you want. Who really gives a crap? My "magical" name is more of a priestess name to me. It's like how nuns take new names when they become... well nuns. It certainly means something but it's not an open door to my true soul or something.

As for some of the other things spoken about in Jason's post...

My altar is in my bedroom because that's where I like it to be - not because I'm trying to hide anything. I can be undisturbed there whenever I need peace. On any given day there are books strewn about my house: on top of the wood burning stove, the kitchen counter, the dining room table, the entertainment stand, and oddly enough on bookshelves. There is Goddess themed art on my walls, goddess chimes over the sink, and signs in my garden. I probably have less stuff than your average Pagan because I'm not really a buyer of those sorts of things. If I buy an altar figure it typically stays on my altar. And I make the decorative things I want instead of purchasing them. I'm not really a nick-knack sort of person.

Anyway... to sum it up I'm not in the broom closet but that's because I don't have one. I don't want one or need one. I am who I am and poo on anyone who doesn't like it. Except Granny.

Miscellany from the Hive

2008-06-17T09:56:00.007-04:00

I have been extremely busy lately and I haven't been able to find a lot of time for Panthea - or the net at all. I was able to work a bit on the Demeter temple before life interfered and I have much of it done. It's not quite ready, but I hope it will be soon. I'll paste the opening "Musings" section below.

Kali is the winner of the latest poll so after I finish up Demeter I will begin her temple. I might hold off on another poll until I can at least begin on Kali.

I'm really thrilled with the temples project and I think I may even have another book in me based on these virtual sacred places and the concept of the Three Keys. I have a very vague outline done already, but it may just look good on paper. Not sure if I can really put together something cohesive.

I've added a webcam stream to the sidebar in place of a profile photo. Whenever I am fit for camera I will try to stream. I think it would be interesting to use when I'm working on paintings in my studio too. There are a few audio tracks from the Pagan music group Gaia Consort attached to the webcam that you can listen to as well.

Okay, I've got lots to do today. Give the musings below a read if you've got the time. See you soon!

For centuries in Ancient Greece the ultimate vision of a mother was seen through the face of Demeter. She is most commonly thought of as Grain Goddess; a solely agricultural deity and patron of those who work the land. This is far too simple a role for such an important Goddess as Demeter. To followers of her mysteries she was the caregiver of the Earth and all who lived upon it. In many ways she was seen as the Earth itself.

Kore, Demeter's daughter, brought the Goddess much joy and while Demeter could hold her child in her arms all was right on Earth. Crops grew, animals multiplied, and flowers colored the land in splendor. But then Kore was taken into the Underworld by Pluton (Hades). Demeter's joy turned into terrible sorrow. Her heart broke without her little girl and the Earth began to wilt and die. As the Goddess mourned, so too did the Earth. Fruit rotted on the vine, flowers turned black with death, and nothing would grow. The land was barren and empty like Great Mother Demeter's heart.

Demeter called to me initially on her own, as part of an ancient, timeless myth surrounded by mysteries and traditions that have captured the hearts and imaginations of people all over the world for millennia. Her daughter Kore (in her guise as Persephone) soon began to take my focus however. It was Persephone whose voice rang out the loudest and it is through her that the understanding of her mother comes into light.

Step into this little temple and reach out your arms to Mother Demeter. Raise them up as if you were young Kore and embrace the Goddess who is Mother of all Life. Walk up to her shrine and light candles in her honor. Beckon her to enter your heart and gift you will the lessons you require. And as with her daughter, Persephone, may her light embrace you and take you into the hallowed caves of Eleusis with all the wisdom of an initiate.

Kali vs. Aphrodite

2008-06-12T09:30:00.003-04:00

I can hear the announcer now - and he sounds like the guy who does the commercials for premier league football (soccer) in the UK.

"Kali-Ma V. Aphrodite; The dark Hindu Goddess matches up with the Greek Goddess of Love. Will Aphrodite mesmerize the crowd with her beauty or will Kali come out on top and covered in blood? Find out this week-END on Sky Sports."

Well that's what I hear anyway. Check out the poll - 2 posts down. It seems like there is a bit of battling going on. Every time I check in Kali and Aphrodite are neck and neck. It's like watching a really strange auction on Ebay.

Goddess' Messenger Rat

2008-06-10T09:23:00.006-04:00

My daughter recieved $50 for her birthday over the weekend and immediately decided she wanted another pet. We already have two dogs, three cats, and some fish but Little Girl decided we needed to gather an entire food chain in our home by getting a rodent.

At first she was all about the hamsters. She had asked me at least a bazillion times, "Mommy, when are we going to get my hamster?" Finally we made it to the pet store where she all but ran to the pet rats.

I will admit I was much more willing to get a rat than a hamster. I had heard rats were like little dogs; smart, friendly, people-loving. We've already done the hamster thing and they are cute but don't really stay still for more than three seconds at a time. More annoying than anything really.

So we got a rat and I immediately fell in love with his little face and oddly human-shaped hands. It seemed strange to me. I looked down at this little creature, fully aware that his ancestors caused the black plague, and my heart melted. He sat with me for a few hours last night. Sniffing me, licking my fingers, sleeping in my lap. He's wonderful. This immediate connection to the rat led me to wonder if perhaps he wasn't sending me a message. Yes, it's a bit fluffy, but I looked up all sorts of symbolism surrounding rats anyway.

I already knew about the Karni-Mata temple where rats are the main occupants and considered sacred by all who visit. The rats in the temple are believed to be the incarnation of a Goddess who was herself the incarnation of Durga. Kali also comes from Durga (and is considered the same Goddess by some) so I find here some connections to my recent pull towards Kali.

In "animal medicine", or the concept of totem animals, I found some things to be significant about rats.

"If a Rat has appeared to you, the message is to examine the ways you may be participating in wasteful consumption or fearful emotions and to awaken from your illusions." (link)

Fearful emotions was the something that caught my eye. I have allowed myself to become a worrier at times and I have recently let fears creep up into my life. I think this is the obstacle Kali has been trying to remove.

So, I am now a rat lover and this morning I am running up to the pet store to get another one. I did some research last night (which I should've done before hand) and found out that rats are extremely social and it's popularly believed by fanciers that they should never be solitary due to emotional stress, neurotic behavior, and other problems. I have enough room for two but we'll be getting a larger cage for them in the future.

By the way, the rat's name is Toby. My daughter wants to name the second one Wubsy, but I'm trying to talk her into something like Buddah or the Dude. Even Dave would be cooler. :) Pictures of Toby and the Dude (aka Wubsy) coming soon.

Demeter It Is...

2008-06-03T11:28:00.007-04:00

I've let the poll go to 20 votes and Demeter has won with 9 of them. Thanks to everyone who voted. I honestly appreciate your input. Now I have to turn some focus to the Great, Greek, Earth Mother Goddess Demeter and see where she leads me. If anyone else has musings on this face of the Goddess please feel free to get a conversation started.

I'm still looking for historical proof of the laws of Demeter - or the Thesmoi of Demeter. If anyone could point me in the right direction on that I would be eternally grateful.

I have posted a new poll leaving Brigid, Kali, and Isis in place as options and adding Aphrodite to the list. Don't let Aphrodite fool you. She is much more than your average Goddess of Love. So let the voting continue and when Demeter's temple is done a new one can be started immediately.

Vote here or check the sidebar at the right.

Stonehenge Decoded

2008-06-02T09:40:00.005-04:00

Last night the National Geographic Channel premiered Stonehenge Decoded and presented new theories about the ancient stone circle to the world. The newest theory is all about how Stonehenge was a monument to the dead; a sacred place where people may have brought the ashes of their deceased loved ones to join their ancestors. A bunch of evidence was presented to support this theory. While archeology is often full of guess work, I think this theory makes a lot of sense from a Pagan persepective and I have some elaborations on the info I watched last night.

First, I think the theory is most likely right about Stonehenge being a temple of the dead. As the show pointed out, it's made of stone, which makes it permanent (like death). It was built to honor the sun at Midsummer, when the sun begins to die. If people brought cremains there perhaps they implored the sun to take the spirits of the dead with it as it waned in the sky over the following months.

There is a wooden henge a couple of miles from Stonehenge. As the theory goes this was most likely a temple for the living; for celebrating life. It's made of wood which is impermanent like life. At Midsummer the people would walk to Stonehenge and then walk back to the wood henge; going from a place of the dead to a place of the living. At Solstice they took the opposite root and stood to watch the Solstice sun set through the wood henge - which seems to have been built specifically for the event. Here they would know the sun was being reborn; that it would soon begin to wax again as the days grew longer. Perhaps the sun also had the power to give rebirth to the people who had died and whose ashes had been spread at Stonehenge? Maybe the ancient Britons believed that as the sun was reborn at the "Temple of Life" so too were the spirits of their ancestors.

Regardless of what actually occured at these sites it seems rather obvious that the ancient people who built them were people who lived in harmony with nature. They were agricultural and depended on nature as their way of life. They would've been interested in praying for fertility, honoring the dead, and celebrating life. Ah... those lovely ancient Pagans.

I think this is all very Goddess-y in nature though there has yet to be any evidence of a female god - or any god to the best of my knowledge. It seems the emphasis here is placed on the ancestors, though there is little to support this as well. I would say there is better evidence to support a deity of the sun. There is no way to know for certain what was worshipped at these sites, at least not until some idol is unearthed. Until then we will have to theorize.

Watch Stonehenge Decoded on June 5th at 9pm on the National Geographic Channel. Image found at the official National Geographic web site for Stonehenge Decoded. Go there for more theories and more info. Check out the Earth Mother theory too.

Good Herbalists Know Latin

2008-06-01T00:37:00.009-04:00

This is my third season as an herb gardener and every year brings new lessons. The first year I just planted whatever I could find that I knew was an herb, which pretty much means anything and everything. I focused more on the medicinal varieties as opposed to the culinary ones. I didn't bother looking at the Latin names too much because they were hard to remember and ever harder to pronounce. But I've learned that in order to market a plant to the "common" gardener plant names often get a little fluffy and you may think you have a lovely variety of thyme plants when in reality you have three of the same darn thing now crowding up your garden. So, let me impart a few things to you that I've discovered over the past few years.

Lesson #1 English Sage is Common Sage
I thought I had two different types of sage here but instead I have realized they are the same plant. There is no variety at all. They are simply Salvia officinalis... common, English sage.

Lesson #2 Same Plant Two Names
Have you heard of Bergamot, the lovely citrus scented plant used to flavor earl grey tea? How about Bee Balm, that pretty spiky flower bees adore? Well they are exactly the same thing. If it says Monarda didyma it's Bergamot... or Bee Balm... or whatever. Same thing different name.

Lesson #3 Just Because it's Yarrow Doesn't Mean it's Medicinal
Did you know the only Yarrow that has any real medicinal qualities is your run of the mill, wild white Yarrow? Have you ever tried finding it at your local nursery? If you have then you have probably run into the same problem I have. All I find is varieties like "Coronation Gold" and "Paprika". They're pretty but that's all their really good for. Check your tags and make sure it just says Achillea millefolium with no variety whatsoever. You may have to do what I did and order it from an herbal company online like Richter's. I even finally managed to find some Mugwort there too. No variety. Just Artemesia vulgaris.

So, the main moral of the story here folks is to check you tags and know your Latin before you spend money on something you don't want and don't need. It's hard to find the real deal anymore... the real original, un-manufactured, un-hybridized product the way Mama intended it. Personally I find more beauty in the less tampered with plants out there. You know, the ones that haven't been bred with other plants or grafted or whatever. But it's all about aesthetics I guess. If that's not a metaphor for society at large I don't know what is.

Honestly, gardening of any kind brings us closer to nature and closer to the Goddess. It's fun, educational, rewarding, etc. I have learned more during three seasons with dirt under my nails that I did with a decade of herb books. It's almost as though getting closer to the plants by caring for them leads to insights into how they can be used. They each have their own personality and it's wonderful to simply sit with them and enjoy their scents, colors, and company.

When I get my camera all set again I plan on posting some pictures of my garden for those who care to see it. I've also made some great plant stakes and signs that say things like "Goddess Bless This Garden". I just love them and I've been giving them away as gifts to friends. I hope to be able to share some images soon.

Religious Freedom vs. Minors Rights

2008-05-29T11:19:00.005-04:00

*BIG, GIANT, POSSIBLY INCOHERANT RANT ALERT*

I was watching the View today. I don't make it a habit like ever... but I just happened to be flipping through and heard Whoopi talking about the Texas polygamy issue that's been in the news recently. On the screen behind her was a picture of an (allegedly) 12 - YES TWELVE! - year old girl and her 40+ husband.

Whoopi basically played devil's advocate by saying that it would be hard for jurors to draw a line in this case because it's all about religious rights. Her words were something like "...well maybe then we would wonder should Scientologists not be allowed to do what they do as part of their religious rights?..." (not a direct quote) I wanted to slap her.

Religious rights take a backseat to the obvious endangerment of a minor. I can hear some people already. Yes, some Christians think Paganism endangers minors - but in the case of these child brides I think there is no room for debate. These girls are barely pubescent and being made to have sex with men almost triple their age. It's sick and perverted and any religion that advocates something like that is completely immoral and the creation of men with a distinct brand of sexual deviance.

I am the mother of a little girl who will be 9 next Thursday. She is a LITTLE GIRL - not a woman who would be ready for marriage and children in 3 years. Any mother who could allow her child to be taken into a situation such as this should have their children removed for being a weak willed woman who has forgotten to fight for the well being of their children. I'm not movable on this one. I don't care how you rationalize it, justify it, make sense of it... etc. It's wrong.

Do you think these people even realize the kind of damage giving birth so young can cause on the bodies of these girls? Some young women in Africa are plagued with broken bodies; bladders and bowels that leak, prolapsed wombs, and more. Those serious medical conditions were caused by giving birth too young because they were raped and impregnated as children.

Speaking of rape - why doesn't the statutory law apply in the polygamy case? I believe it's a state issue, but I can't imagine any state says it's okay for a 40 year old man to have sex with a 12 year old girl. She's barely able to make her own decisions with a 7th grade education - let alone decide who to give her body to and why.

I'm not claiming to be the most educated on the polygamy case or the practices of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. What I know is that it's wrong to have sex with children. I don't care what religion you are - or how it's justified. 12 year olds are children plain and simple. And if keeping these children away from their mothers allows them the peace to grow into healthy women who can make choices for sex, marriage, and children when they are ready... I'm all for it.

As Athana has said many times... what would a healthy mother do? Not give her daughters away as child brides. Not allow them to be sexual abused minors. Not believe in a god who says any of this is okay. EVER. It's not okay. It's criminal.

Goddess, Mother, wake up these women and empower them to take control of their lives and the lives of their children. Let them see the sacredness of motherhood and all that comes with it. Make them fight for their daughters. Make them fight for their sons also so they might not be raised to abuse young girls the way that their fathers have. And awaken these men to you and to the respect of the female body. Allow them to embrace the fathers within them and shun the war god who advocates any form of child abuse in the name of religion. So mote it be.

Poll: The Next Temple

2008-05-28T15:03:00.009-04:00

I'm struggling with which Goddess to devote the next virtual temple to. So I've created a poll so you guys can help me out. All of these Goddesses are calling to me, but the two who seem to be in my thoughts the most these days are Kali and Demeter.

Why I'm having trouble deciding:
I have a book on Kali coming soon that I am hoping will give me lots to think about when creating her temple. She calls to me in a strong way. I already have an ample amount of info on Demeter, but her image seems so much clearer to me through Persephone - who I just did a temple to. Both existing temples are Greek in nature. So, should we move on to another pantheon for a bit? Or should we stick with the Greeks until they are all done? Brigid for me is the Great Goddess in Ireland - a land I have long since been connected with. Should I move "home" for a while with her? And Isis is such a Great Queen Goddess that I have always been fascinated by her and all her incarnations.

So you can see why this is hard for me right now. I would love to know what readers are looking to see so that I can be swayed one way or the other to start working on a new temple (or two). I also need to finish the meditation on Persephone. Or maybe not... maybe she doesn't call for one. I'm not sure.

Thanks in advance to everyone who votes. You can vote here on this post or there is a static poll in the sidebar under Virtual Temples. Just click the link up top to go there.

Experiencing Christianity

2008-05-27T15:36:00.006-04:00

I was recently asked to do a short interview on the way women experience Christianity. A few months ago I did an interview (a 5-part piece) with Susy from Unmasking the Goddess who passed on my info to author Jonalyn Grace Fincher. Jonalyn was interesting in knowing how I experienced Christianity as a woman and I suppose also as someone who no longer subscribes to the beliefs of the church. I've pasted my responses below. Please feel free to leave comments and get a conversation started.

1- From your experience does Christianity seem to teach that God is male, female, both or neither? What caused you to think this?

A: I believe Christianity teaches that God is male. There is much emphasis placed on concepts like God the Father, Christ the Son, etc. but there have been no concepts surrounding God the Mother until recently. From what I gather that is very commonly not a popular concept with many Christians.

Mary is a positive figure, as the Mother of Christ (God), but she is never deified. Instead she is commonly believed to have been a mortal woman with no divinity of her own. At best she is seen as a saint and her worship is often only found in some denominations. Goddess worshippers believe Mary to be a face of the Goddess.

2- How is following the Goddess more affirming to you than following God?

A: There is a common misconception that all women migrate to Goddess worship because they are not empowered by a male concept of God. I would say in the beginning that this is true for some. Personally I never felt as though I needed empowerment. Instead I saw a concept of God that was more complete for me than a male concept. In short, Goddess makes more sense to me.

I do find the Goddess more affirming but not because I’m a woman. I personally feel she is more affirming for people as a whole. She is a being of balance and completion who teaches equality for all life. Her lessons also encourage her followers to understand that their personal experiences are valid and that those experiences can be a way of connecting with her. No one is told their interpretations of the Goddess are wrong or unworthy. Spirituality is seen as such an individual concept and not everyone requires the same lessons.

3- Does the Christian church seem oppressive to women? If so, can you share any stories?

A: I think at times it can be. Again here, I see that the church can be oppressive to people in general and not just women; teaching them that they are naturally evil and that they need to earn God’s love. I do however find that the lack of female clergy in Christianity is a problem and a testament to the way women have been seen throughout time as vehicles of temptation and evil.

4- What passages/places in the Bible seem to limit women? Are there any Bible passages that seem to value women equally to men?

A: I have pasted a few passages below that paint a less than flattering picture of the way the Bible speaks of women. I realize that during Jesus’ ministry he taught gender equality. He took women into his inner circle, spoke with them as equals (as God’s daughters), and used terminology that implied that women should be seen as no less and no better than men. Unfortunately though, his words are not as direct and to the point as those of the Old Testament. I suppose it would’ve been nice if he had just come out and said it in plain language. I also think it would’ve been nice to see Mary Magdalene given the role of one of Christianity’s founders as she so deserved in my opinion.

1 Corinthians 14:34:
Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says.

Genesis 3:16:
To the woman he said, "I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."

Isaiah 19:16:
In that day the Egyptians will be like women. They will shudder with fear at the uplifted hand that the LORD Almighty raises against them.

Deuteronomy 22:20-21:
If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the girl's virginity can be found, she shall be brought to the door of her father's house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death. She has done a disgraceful thing in Israel by being promiscuous while still in her father's house. You must purge the evil from among you.

Leviticus 12:1-8:
Numbers 5:12-31

Temple of Persephone

2008-05-22T21:41:00.004-04:00

The Temple isn't exactly complete because I haven't been inspired to write the meditation yet. Everything is there though - most of which you may have already read in previous posts. Check it out and hopefully enjoy!

Virtual Temple of Persephone

Jung and the Anti-bunny

2008-05-20T10:41:00.005-04:00

Carl Jung proposed a technique called Active Imagination which theorized that one could connect with the deeper subconscious through active daydreaming and fantasy. I believe this technique was only named by Jung. In my opinion it is exactly the same process employed by shamanic traditions throughout time and it is exactly the process being utilized by individuals who believe they have contact with mythological creatures like faeries, dragons, etc.

For many years I have carried around a certain amount of frustration when interacting with people who believe in the reality of myth and legend. I became exasperated and admittedly began to shut down every time. I realize I was placing judgment, but my brain simply couldn’t rationalize certain ideas as real and certainly not as useful. After studying a little of Jung’s ideas I have a new opinion. I’ve had an epiphany.

The main thesis of my recent epiphany is that the problem I have is not in the ideas of the mythical creatures themselves, but when people see them for reality instead of a route towards understanding their own subconscious.

The Active Imagination Technique is similar to daydreaming, but in an active way as the title suggests. This is where the dreamer takes a mindful role in the fantasy being explored in order to learn about themselves on a subconscious level. The state that the brain goes into during waking dreams is called the alpha state. This is the same state we go into when we’re driving, taking a shower, doing the dishes, or any other kind of “mindless” action. So, every time I hear the voice (referenced in the previous post) I am in alpha state which means my subconscious may be trying to tell me something. I’m not sure yet what I may be trying to tell myself, but I believe now that the voice is not outside of myself, but a part of my subconscious mind.

I think with this new understanding I can better deal with my frustrations and my own feelings of hypocrisy since I too am subject to my subconscious mind; my active imagination. I think I’ve found a way to rationalize and reconcile the abstract and the analytical halves of my personality that can not only help me better understand myself, but also others.

Hope this made some sense. What do you think about the theories presented here? Am I still robbing myself of the magic or have I found a way to embrace it without stepping past the bounds of what I know to be reality - and what I consider to be the domain of fluffy bunnies?

Robbing Myself of Magic

2008-05-15T10:15:00.006-04:00

Raven Grimassi once told me to be careful not to “rob myself of the magic”. He had just signed some books for me and since I had waited until later in the day to visit his booth he was free to chat for a bit. I was on the Pagan Pride committee that year (the event he and his wife were attending as guest speakers) so we had already been introduced and quickly moved to topics of deeper interest. I was expressing my disenchantment and frustration when Raven, looking for all the world like Paul McCartney's love child without his moustache, said those words. I consider Raven to be an extremely well learned man whose books are meticulously researched and void of much of the fluffiness some authors embrace. So of course I took his words to heart, but to this day I'm still not sure how to put them into action.

I have experienced certain things that I badly want to believe were real and true. As time passes I rationalize my experiences until there is nothing left of them. Consequently experiencing these things again is rather difficult.

When I was a child I used to hear a voice. It was completely incoherent and I always felt that if I listened just a little harder I might be able to make out the words. This scared the crap out of me as a kid and eventually the voice stopped. I think I might have willed it to stop.

When I hit about 19 or so the voice began to return and 11 years later there are times when I still hear it. Am I crazy? Maybe. I’ve thought about Schizophrenia, but that doesn’t usually hit someone until their early twenties. Because this has been ongoing since early childhood I have ruled that out. Could this be some inner voice? Is it my intuition? My conscience? The one constant is that the voice always comes along when I am doing something repetitive or not requiring concentration – when my brain is in an alpha state.

If I was listening to someone else tell this story I would be convinced they were crazy and I expect nothing less from anyone who is reading this right now. I am very scientifically minded. I believe in reason and I strive to understand why things are and how they work. I’m also very creatively minded. I’m an artist and creating is like instinct for me. So I suppose there is sort of an inner struggle going on. One part of me thinks there must be rational explanations for everything while the other is not opposed to more abstract ideas.

I’ve considered that perhaps I’m clairaudient but I also think mediums are most often frauds. Maybe famous psychics have ruined it for me. John Edward, Sylvia Browne, Chris Fleming, etc. have really just left a bad taste in my mouth about psychics and mediumship in general. I am certainly not going to say I have an ability that I have never been able to believe in others. I have had numerous readings and not one of them has ever been more than a cold reading or a general interpretation of cards laid out on a table. I believe everyone could potentially have psychic ability, I just haven’t proven that yet.

On the topic of channeling, I have thought that maybe if we’re all Goddess than it isn’t too crazy to think she could speak to us or through us. Why is it people who channel pick things like Arch Angels, aliens, star clusters, famous dead folks, etc? I just can’t swallow the whole concept. But I wish I could.

I want to believe. Who doesn't? Isn't that desire to believe what gives psychic charlatains their power in the first place? I’m willing to suspend all sorts of belief but I need something concrete, something that can be evaluated and then revealed to be true. Maybe I need to stop putting reigns on everything before the magic is lost to me forever.

Could I be a Jaded Wiccan?

2008-05-13T15:53:00.007-04:00

Warning: Tongue-and-cheeky-ness to follow. Thick skin and/or a good sense of humor required. Turn back now if you offend easily.

This post is being brought to you by the brain function that occurred after reading a post entitled Wicca on the Down Low at Lover of Strife - which I bookmarked immediately and should’ve added to my recently quasi-alphabetized links list by now. I haven’t considered myself Wiccan for at least ten years, but after reading the afore mentioned article I suddenly feel compelled to see if I’ve been lying to myself for a decade or so.

So I guess the first thing to do is define what makes someone a Wiccan. I looked around the net and really didn’t find a concrete definition – or a list of bullet points which I am obviously kind of fond of. Many Pagans share beliefs systems that are so similar that there is little to no distinction between one tradition and the other. Most of the time it comes down to pantheons, language used, ritual structure, etc. So I guess the only view I can use here is my own.

Note: I have a lot of Wiccan friends who I don’t want to offend, so I am going to trust that they all know me well enough to understand where I’m coming from if they happen upon this blog of mine. I circle with Wiccans and I respect many Wiccan individuals for their devotion and scholarship. I’m obviously generalizing and am by no means saying every Wiccan is the compilation of fluff that I may be about to type.

Wicca (Through my eyes)
- Belief in Goddess and God as two separate but equal parts seen through a myriad of other completely separate deities with their own names, faces, purposes, powers, and geographic origins.
- Very specifically Celtic.
- Adheres to the Wiccan Rede.
- Practices magic, often ceremonial and involving bunches of tools.
- Leans towards a belief in the literal interpretation of the mythical (faeries, dragons, etc.).
- Knowledge of Tarot cards and other tools of divination are considered standard for all adherents and those who don’t dig on the divination are looked down on or considered not “Witchy” enough.
- Astrology is gospel.
- Gardner and his contemporaries may as well be Mathew, Mark, Luke, and John of the Wiccan world.

I will reiterate that this is not some official list of bulleted points describing Wicca. It is only how I personally view it. Is my opinion slanted in some way? Yes, absolutely. Have I run into too many self proclaimed High Priestesses of Pomp and Circumstance who claim to channel spirits from other dimensions or have a direct line to the Goddess? Yes. Yes, I have. Maybe I am simply jaded. But could I really be a jaded Wiccan? By my own admittedly preconceived list of defining factors above I would answer no.

But it’s time for another list of bullets to catalog what my tradition might have in common with Wicca. Now I think the point here is to see if anything listed is solely the property of Wicca or if it’s sort of a non-denominational Pagan standard.

- Circle casting.
- Element calling.
- Nature viewed as sacred and revered in ritual practice.
- Belief in something like the Wiccan Rede which in my opinion is a Neo- Pagan version of the Golden Rule.

Okay, short list I guess. In my opinion everything in the list above is universally Pagan, right down to the Native American traditions. As a matter of fact I don't even find circle casting or element calling to be necessary, especially in solitary practice.

Now let’s take a look at the things I don’t think I have in common with Wicca. This list could also be called “Reasons Why I Became Disenchanted with Wicca at an Early Age”.

- No separation: Belief in one deity imagined as Goddess, completely connected (meaning not separate) from any of her other aspects be they mythically male or female in distinction.
- Magic is prayer and no props are ever really needed, but the desire to use props to touch with the unconscious is often desired. I don’t care about athames or bolines or what color their handles are.
- Witchcraft can be (but not always is) a religious practice and not a specific religion. The same goes for divination.
- Lack of belief in the mythical world(s). Don’t believe in faeries, dragons, etc. because I simply haven’t seen any of them and I don’t choose to live in a world of un-reality where I can blame my missing keys on mischievous house gnomes. Though that would be cool if I could.
- Emphasis is placed on religion – worship, prayer, connection, spiritual understanding, betterment of self, etc. as opposed to getting really good at scrying or using runes.
- Myth is never interpreted literally and its uses are unique to every individual practitioner.

None of the lists in this post are complete by any means. I could probably go on for a while, but I don’t think it’s necessary. Besides, this post is long enough already. I’m going to turn the questions to you instead. What makes a Wiccan? Am I Wiccan? Has Wicca gotten a bad rap? What is the solution if so? Am I a closed minded crazy lady? Let’s find out. Add some comments and continue the conversation.

Ritual: Reshaping the Heart

2008-05-09T01:43:00.007-04:00

I have recently found myself thinking and talking a lot about the idea of removing obstacles. Kali-Ma and Persephone have been making themselves well known to me and I guess I don’t consider this a coincidence. Someone is telling me that change needs to happen. Since I figure the only real change I am in control of is the changing of me, I have designed a little ritual and exercise to help me do this.

From my perspective change begins from within. Everything I am is a complicated mash up of memories, feelings, and instincts that subsequently determine how I react to my life and the people within it. With this little ritual it is my hope that I will be able to edit these feelings. Well, except the instincts. I don’t think there’s much we can do about those besides control the ones we don’t want to be dominant.

I call this ritual, as you can see above, Reshaping the Heart. Obviously the heart is a metaphor for the soul; for who we are and why. For ages it has been seen as the place where we keep our goodness and our not-so-goodness. In Jungian terms this will be an exercise that fits in the category of shadow work. As with many good spiritual exercises this ritual begins with some meditation.

Spend some time reflecting on the traits that make up your personality. Really think about it and be honest with yourself. Make two separate lists; one for your “good” traits and one for your “not-so-good” traits. Which traits fit into which category is all up to you. This is a mindful meditation that may take some time to complete. It isn’t necessary to sit at your altar this whole time. Carry a notebook with you throughout your day if need be.

Once you feel you have two complete lists cut your traits up into individual slips of paper so that each slip only has one trait on it. Place the slips into a vessel of your choosing. You could use a plain box, a jar, etc. You might even want to get very symbolic and use a vessel that is heart-shaped. You can paint your name on it and decorate it any way you wish. Get as creative as you like or keep it simple. It’s your symbolic heart.

Once your “heart” is full of traits, set aside some time to consecrate the vessel at your altar. I find the dark moon is good for this sort of ritual, but you might find another phase to be more appropriate. Light candles, incense, or whatever you normally do in ritual. Call upon the Goddess in your own words and ask her to bless the vessel, you, and your workings. Ask for guidance, strength, or anything else you feel you may need during this process. Once you’re ready choose a trait that you want to remove from yourself and set it aside in another container or somewhere else that will keep it from getting lost.

Now it’s time to spread some intent. For the sake of example let’s say you chose to remove anger from your heart. Fully visualize yourself being a less angry person. Imagine you are extremely patient and more likely to react with compassion then anger. See a situation in your mind where you were in a rage and change it. Imagine how the situation would’ve played out if you had chosen not to become so angry.

Close your ritual and give your thanks to the Goddess. Over the course of the next moon cycle be mindful of your choice to remove anger (or the trait you chose) from your life. Be conscious of your reactions and choices and allow yourself the room to grow and change. Be patient with yourself and remember that this is not about judging yourself or not accepting yourself for who you are. It’s about loving yourself enough to the best person you can be; for yourself and for everyone you care about.

If you feel you have conquered the trait you chose to remove then burn it at the next turning of the moon. If you don’t feel you have beaten the undesirable trait then begin the process again for another cycle.

This ritual can also be performed in the opposite direction by adding traits to your symbolic heart. Some people may find this a more positive approach. Make lists of your current traits and traits you wish to possess. Instead of burning the new trait at the end of the moon cycle you can finally add it into your “heart”.

Again, this is not about judging yourself. You are already good enough, but everyone could use a tune up every now and then. Life can sometimes take a toll on our spirits and it never hurts to take some mental inventory to reassess who we have become and what sort of baggage our experiences have left us with.

I will personally be using this ritual and will hopefully have some really great success stories to share with all of you. If you give it or shot or have some insights into this process I would love to hear from you.

The Three Keys

2008-05-08T16:17:00.004-04:00

Dissecting and Interpreting Mythology
and Theological Concepts of the Goddess

I imagine everyone has their own way of interpreting the Goddess. By nature, being a Goddess worshipper fills a person with a sense of empowerment that teachers him/her to trust their instincts and their personal ideas. Perhaps the Goddess inspires us all differently, coming to us in unique ways that teach every individual exactly what they need to learn.

For me it has always been a challenge to order my thoughts when it comes to understanding the Goddess. To me all Goddesses are one Goddess so learning about her different images helps me understand her as a whole. She is all things and sometimes it’s not that easy to wrap my head around her thousands of faces, symbols, etc. The method I use to better my own understanding, and create a sense of order in an otherwise jumbled mind, is what I call the Three Keys System.

First, let me make my personal framework clear. This is the core of my belief system and what I base all of my interpretations on.

• All Goddesses are one Goddess. All deity is one deity.
• The Goddess is all things and everything in nature and life can carry her lessons.
• The Goddess is triplicate; Maiden, Mother, Crone.
• The combination of those three aspects creates the forth or total aspect of Goddess; All-Goddess, Panthea, Great Goddess, etc.
• The All-Goddess aspect is the totality of all things and is the ultimate vision of the Goddess.
• Every Goddess carries the qualities of each the Maiden, the Mother, and the Crone though they usually lean further in the direction of one than the others.

Now the things listed above can’t really be called facts. I’m not sure there is much within the realm of religion that can be called wholly factual. I suppose that’s why we have the concept of faith. But does this make them untrue? If perception is reality then the statements of faith above are as true as the sky being blue. Though I see a blue sky a slightly color blind person may think it seems more like a shade of purple. Who’s right and who’s wrong? Well, neither and both at the same time. Both perceptions are completely true, albeit personal truths.

So, after I choose my topic (or my Goddess) that I am going to devote study time to, I research like crazy and put everything I have gathered in one place. I read all of the information as many times as necessary and formulate ideas while specifically looking for keywords that may be ascribed to the Goddess in question. Almost right off the bat I can usually see if a Goddess falls into the Maiden, Mother, Crone, or All categories based on what I know of each.

Then I look at the way this Goddess relates to other deities, if there are other Goddesses involved that can make her triplicate aspects obvious, and examine her relationship to her mate if she has one. I ask myself questions like “what did this Goddess do?”, “what purpose does her myth serve?”, “what are her symbols”, etc.

In between all of this I usually make time to meditate for a few days on the Goddess I am studying. For me it is necessary to spend a lot of time in thought and reflection, allowing the Goddess to send some inspiration along before I come to any conclusions.

The next step is to weed through any keywords I may have come across. I usually take the three most specific or clearly illustrated keywords and elaborate on them. For example, for the Minoan Bee Goddess (Merope) I selected the keywords that jumped out at me the most then jotted down what I felt they meant.

Connection
- It is not good to always be alone.
- Seek connection with other people and with all life.
- Live in harmony with others.

Responsibility
- Live responsibly in co-existence with other people and with nature.
- Work honestly and earn your keep in life.
- Everyone has a purpose.

Humility
- Love is stronger than you.
- Love openly and without shame.
- There is no room for pride in love.

After using the Three Keys System and incorporating the Triple Goddess framework I feel that I have a pretty clear understanding of what this Goddess means to me, or what lessons I needed to gain from her. I can now incorporate this specific Goddess into my vision of the Goddess as a whole and further enrich my spiritual experience.

Your interpretations of individual Goddesses or the Goddess as a whole may be completely different from mine. I trust that the Goddess has a good understanding of us and knows which of her aspects are beneficial to every individual.

For me, the most important part of all of this is to know that the Goddess is ever-present and constant. She cannot be changed. She just is. I find this way of thinking beneficial, especially when participating in theological debates. No one should ever feel their ideas or perceptions are invalid or being threatened by others because it all comes from the Goddess anyway.

We all have different relationships with the Goddess in the way children do with their mothers. Healthy, present mothers know which of their children need to know which lessons and each child is treated as an individual. As we grow mothers teach new lessons, or impart more wisdom in regards to old lessons. It is important to be open to change and an evolution in thought because we never want to be so stubborn in our beliefs that the Goddess can’t teach us more of what we need to know.

So, your unique vision of the Goddess is just as valid as any other. So long as you are enriching your own experience of your Mother, there can be no wrong answers to your questions.

Pagan Theology is Goddess

2008-05-08T13:13:00.005-04:00

Ancient texts, theology, stories of the Goddess, the ability to think for oneself, the rich culture of civilizations, good books and resources, brilliant authors and Pagan thologians, ideas and epiphanies... all of these things are Goddess.

It struck me recently that the temple project is leading to discussions in theology. I won't spell it with an "a" (thealogy) because I don't think it's necessary. Besides, wouldn't it be nice if common language was used so everyone understood what was being discussed? (Thanks to Ailia for teaching me this lesson.) Anyway, I know that sometimes the topic of theology is not popular with Pagans - that we presume it's something Christians do and that it will only lead to doctrine. And most Pagans simply shudder at the big evil idea of doctrine. I'm somewhat proud to realize that, at least from my point of view, none of the discussions found here lately are too indoctrinated. I think it's clear that everyone is speaking from their own educated view points which I am very grateful for.

As I searched the web for links related to Pagan theology I found some interesting articles, one that specifically discusses the "theology leads to doctrine" idea. In this article the author lays out common modern Pagan beliefs in comparison with his/her beliefs. The differences are interesting and the author's frustration with modern Paganism's lack of things like faith, love, devotion, etc. - or at least the reluctance of Pagan's to use those words in conjunction with religion - is obvious. I echo the same sentiments and found the article refreshing and honest.

Give the article a read if you have some time and since today is Thou Art Goddess Thursday: Pagan theology is Goddess. :)

Persephone as Crone

2008-05-06T17:36:00.008-04:00

The Temple of Persephone is almost done, but I wanted to get this out now in case someone can inspire me to make some changes in thought before it goes live.

I'm trying desperately to make these musings as personal as possible since I think there is no one right way to interpret the Goddess. I hope you find something useful or thought provoking within my ramblings. (edits in bold)

M U S I N G S

Her story has resonated with millions of people over millennia and her archetype is firmly rooted in the human psyche. She is Persephone, Queen of the Underworld, transformation of the Sacred Bride.

While young Kore played in the fields, stopping to take in the scent of flowers, a hole opened up in the Earth below her. She was shaken as she stood gazing at the God Pluton in his chariot. He was beautiful to her eyes, a vision of perfect masculinity and a counterpart to her feminine grace. With a natural fear of things unknown, Kore allowed herself to be taken by Pluton and succumbed to her destiny as his lover and his queen.

Persephone entered my life quite some time ago. I had very little understanding of her mysteries at that time and simply thought of her as the Maiden in the most generic sense. As I studied her further she began to take on her full form in my heart, showing me that her story was timeless and poignant. She also showed me that her image was hardly limited to that of the Maiden. I felt as though she was calling me to rediscover her and find a way to fully integrate her into my personal image of the Great Goddess.

In Eleusis, where the mysteries thrived for so long, Persephone was revered as a primary deity, and as an integral symbol of the religious traditions of thousands. In this sacred space I invite you to soak in the story of Persephone and learn her lessons for yourself. Let her light embrace you and take you into the hallowed caves of Eleusis with all the wisdom of an initiate.

U N D E R S T A N D I N G

As with many triple Goddesses, it is impossible to talk about Persephone without taking into consideration her other aspects. My perception of the Goddess Persephone (Roman Proserpina) is that she is a distinct face of the Goddess, seperate from Kore, her Maiden aspect. I see Kore, Demeter, and Persephone as a complete Triple Goddess figure with Persephone filling the role of Crone.

Her name means "Destroyer". Through my studies I have found there are devotees of this Goddess who reject that notion on the grounds that her cycle is one of a blending of life and death without fear; that she is a queen of life and beauty and love. They believe that giving her the name Destroyer somehow strips her of the role of benevolent queen.

I propose that Persephone is indeed a destroyer. Her destruction is a necessary vehicle for transformation without which nothing new could ever be created. Much like Kali-Ma she is not only a destroyer of physical things (as she personifies death), but she is also a destroyer of fear, doubt, shame, and other negative things that are not conducive to spiritual growth. She is a remover of obstacles, again like Kali.

Many scholars and worshippers of Persephone also reject the idea of her rape by Pluton, also known as Hades. I would have to agree on this one for many reasons. As cited in Mysteries of Demeter: Rebirth of the Pagan Way by Jennifer Reif, the clergy of Persephone were all priestesses. It seems unlikely that women would have chosen to devote their lives to a religion that deifies the act of rape. I think instead Persephone's image was one of empowerment and equality, not of an abused woman without power of her own.

Also, as noted by Reif, there are images of Persephone and Pluton carved in stone that picture them sitting alongside each other on their thrones, equal and appearing to be the very essence of matrimonial partnership. Adding that to the fact that there is nothing that mentions rape in both the Orphic or Homeric texts, and it seems as though the idea of rape might have been a rather modern construct, perhaps introduced by mythology scholars or art historians. At some point someone was responsible for naming the first piece of ancient art or literature "The Rape of Persephone".

Persephone is the creation of Kore's experiences; she is a symbol of the transformation between child and adult. She bridges the gap between birth and death with Demeter standing at the center to impose the balance between the two and thus facilitating and perpetuating life.

A primary symbol of Persephone is the pomegranate. Eating its seeds symbolizes gaining wisdom and the knowledge of the mystery of eternal life. The pomegranate could quite possibly have been the first image of the fruit of knowledge spoken of in Jewish mythology. When I ponder this further though I find I come to a small conundrum. Jewish mythology (in the Old Testament of the Bible) says that the fruit was the downfall of humanity. I don't agree with this idea as I think knowledge is not a bad thing. I think perhaps though that ignorance truly is bliss and sometimes knowing too much causes suffering. It is easier and less painful to accept things blindly instead of pondering life for oneself.

So, the key words I have identified in regards to Persephone are destruction, wisdom, and partnership. (See the Temple of Merope for more on my keyword process.)

Destruction
- Destroying one thing transforms it into another. (death is not to be feared)
- Without destruction there can be no birth or growth.
- Destroying ego or negative qualities of the self is an important process in spiritual development.

Partnership
- The sexes are equal and compatible.
- Working together is a way to effect greater change. (cliche version: there is no "i" in team.)
- It is not good to bear the burden of life alone.

Wisdom
- Knowledge should be sought after.
- With wisdom comes a rebirth of the spirit.
- Don't waste your ability to learn and think for yourself.

Temple of Merope

2008-05-01T13:37:00.005-04:00

So this is what I've been working on over the last couple of days. I've started a new project that I hope will be both informative and spiritually beneficial. I guess only people who visit it can tell me for sure. Personally, it's already enriched my experience of the Goddess.

I guess you could say I am doing it as much for me (probably more so) than for anyone else. I went looking for virtual Goddess temples and didn't really find what I was looking for. This virtual temple project is the result of that desire.

So, if you have the time please leave me some comments on this post and let me know what you think about the content of the Temple of Merope. More temples are in the works. Persephone and Demeter should be coming soon and at that time I will build an index page to house all the temples.

Connecting with the Goddess: Musings
(from Panthea's Temple of Merope)

We don't know for sure what her name was or what exactly her rituals might've entailed, but remnants of the Great Bee Goddess can be seen in recovered artifacts and the mytholgy of the Greek descendents of the Minoans. Though much of this Goddess is lost to antiquity, I believe versions of her (stripped of her Great Goddess stature) are found throughout later Greek mythology under the name Merope. But these may just be tiny pieces of her story.

I personally believe that Demeter herself is a later incarnation of the Great Bee Goddess. Demeter's priestesses were called Melissae (Bees) and some sources report that the priestesses believed they would be reincarnated as bees in the afterlife. Where did these ideas originate?

The Bee Goddess of Crete, of the Minoans, was intimately tied to the mysteries of life, death, and rebirth. Regeneration or transformation seem to be one of her primary functions. Most, if not all, Great Goddess figures can be given this distinction. Demeter and her various faces as Triple Goddess can certainly be equated with regenerative properties. Could Ancient Merope have also been a Triple Goddess?

Somehow this Goddess (an ancient and sacred face of Mother Demeter) found her way into my life. She settled down into my heart as if it were her hive and made a nice cozy home there. I have rather syncretically equated the Minoan Bee Goddess with the pleiadian star and the myth surrounding the Goddess it is named for. Though this star happens to be in the Pleiades, a constellation popular with the new age crowd, I don't feel anything is being "channeled" down to me. I simply feel her looking down from her hiding place in the vast blanket of stars above. Though her light is the faintest of the other six sisters, I feel it shining on me as the brightest star in the heavens.

Perhaps she has honored me as a modern version of one of her Melissae; her priestess. Since the bee is a common symbol for this Goddess, and thus a possible metaphor to be looked at allegorically, I wonder what the bee can teach me? I wonder what this little creature of the natural world can tell me about how to live and how to honor the Goddess? Might I be a worker bee? Or can I embrace the Queen within?

In this virtual sacred place I invite you to take on the title of Melissae yourself, and let your soul be opened up to this little known but largely felt face of the Goddess.

Kore-Persephone Musings

2008-04-28T10:03:00.009-04:00

I've noticed over the past few years that the idea of Persephone being raped by Pluton/Hades is not readily accepted anymore. Beautiful retellings of their story involving a deep love and passion are emerging and being rediscovered around every corner.

It makes sense that Kore would be relunctant to leave the land of the living and the arms of her mother, Demeter. What doesn't make sense is that she would be held against her will or openly give up the opportunity to not only be Queen of the Underworld, but also the Shepherdess of Souls.

It's possible Kore might not have embaced her destiny wholeheartedly at first. Could she have been afraid to grow and to be transformed? Did she fear these things the way mortals naturally fear the transformation of death? Could she have fought these changes the way mortals fight to survive?

Eventually it is the love of Pluton that changes her; that makes her whole, and helps her to realize her true potential and destiny. I don't believe a divine being like that could be a rapist. So, why do you suppose this story became twisted? Is there some patriarchal reason as to why Kore would need to be forced into becoming Persephone?

In the Homeric Hymn to Demeter Persephone (Kore) is given away to Pluton/Hades by Zeus (sometimes her father and sometimes her uncle). This rings of patriarchal influences and hints that a woman couldn't possibly have the power to think for herself and make the decision to change her existence. In no way does this speak about what we know of Goddess societies and it can only be assumed that the myths including aspects of rape are a later retelling of a very ancient story.

I found the passage below at The Other Ivy's blog, Stone Circle. I immediately fell in love with it and it suddenly resonated inside me like something true. It wasn't the first time I had heard of an alternate, non-rape version of the story, but it was so inspiring that I had to post it here along with my musings.

...No one understands anymore
how beautiful he was. But Persephone remembers.

Also that he embraced her, right there,
with her uncle watching. She remembers
sunlight flashing on his bare arms.

This is the last moment she remembers clearly.
Then the dark god bore her away.

She also remembers, less clearly,
the chilling insight that from this moment
she couldn't live without him again.

The girl who disappears from the pool
will never return. A woman will return,
looking for the girl she was...

- Excerpt from"The Myth of Innocence"
from Averno by Louise Glück.

The Laws of Demeter

2008-04-26T13:26:00.008-04:00

I was reading the book Mysteries of Demeter: Rebirth of the Pagan Way by Jennifer Reif when I came across the Thesmoi (Laws) of Demeter.

After an extensive search on Google I found no other versions of this so I can only assume that it's at the very least an interpretation of an original Classical Pagan text and not just the author's own view. If anyone can identify the original text that these laws come from please point me to it.

For the sake of argument (and because I think it can make for interesting conversation) I am going to treat these laws as a legitimate text of the Goddess. You'll find my interpretations and comments below.

I. Give praises to the Holy Mother - all that is born rises from within her.

II. All that sustains thee flows from her body.

III. The wise and Holy Mother pleasures in peace and honest labor.

IV. Tend to your life with gentle wisdom, and to your days with love's compassion.

V. Honor the Goddess' rites and mysteries - to bring justice, peace, and the nation's fertility.

VI. Know the cycle of the blessed seed as the mystery of the soul, revealed.

VII. Honor the pure and Holy Maiden, whose power is joy ever-reborn.

VIII. Praises to Royal Persephone, who at thy death will welcome thee.

IX. Praises to the Holy Mother, whose song is the light of eternity.

X. May you know your immortal being and drink of her cup everlasting.

Items I. and II. seem to be saying the same thing, though I think the second one is a reminder that we are not only born of the Goddess, but that she also sustains us. It speaks in metaphor about the Earth personified as Goddess - as the food we eat and the water we drink all being her and of her body. This reminds me of the Eucharist in a way... of the neo-Pagan rite of cakes and ale, etc.

Line III. says the Goddess likes it when we are peaceful, honest, hardworking people. In one sentence we are told that we should not create strife, war, kill, etc. - not lie - and be prepared to work for everything in our lives. In short - be peaceful, be truthful, and nothing comes easily so earn your keep.

In Law IV. we are told to "tend to our lives with gentle wisdom". Maybe this is too vague for me. I mean, I get it I guess, but I'm not sure what to do with it. Is it saying be gentle and wise with oneself or be gentle and wise with others? Or maybe it's saying both of those things. I understand the bit about love's compassion well. I think it's a reference to "loving thine neighbor" and treating others with love as a healthy mother does her children.

Number V. is a little odd to me I think. There seems to be some nationalistic flair to it that I don't understand. Or perhaps it's simply about agriculture because in ancient times without the rites of the Goddess, that were connected with the planting and harvesting of plants, there would be no food. With enough food there is less chance of war and injustice. Right?

I like VI. because it's saying that in nature the mysteries of the soul are shown to us and that only through this realization does the soul find freedom and peace. At least that's my take on it. I think it could also say "know that the cycles of the moon are the mysteries of the soul revealed" or anything with a similar cycle. Nature in general can be used here as well. This line also makes nature sacred by referring to the seed as blessed.

VII. is not distinct enough for me either. I understand it but again what do I do with it? We are told that the Maiden is joy ever-reborn. Okay. So there is rebirth and the Maiden is the personification of this concept. But then again so is the seed spoken of in the line above. Maybe it's saying to simply honor the Maiden concept during worship? Or maybe I need to think on this one more.

I think stanza VIII. tells us simply that in death Persephone is there to welcome us into the Underworld and that there is life after death. I notice the distinction between the Maiden and Persephone here though and see a triplicity not usually spoken about in the myths of Demeter. A complete Triple Goddess figure is seen (the Maiden/Kore, the Mother/Demeter, the Crone/Persphone) as opposed to just the "Twin Goddesses" or the mother-daughter concept most often emphasized. I think that's interesting and deserves more thought.

Is IX. telling us that in singing the Mother's song, or worshipping her, that we find the light of eternity? Is it saying that the Mother is the truth and the light a la Jesus? I'm not saying that in a bad way, only picking up on the correlation between two myths. Hmm... that makes me want to think on this one more too.

Line X. closes the laws with a phrase reminiscent of the Charge of the Goddess; "and mine is the cup of wine of life that is the Cauldron of Cerridwyn, that is the grail of immortality". The cup itself is Goddess imagery that resembles the womb and also the well-spring of knowledge that is the source; the Goddess. This line in essence says you are immortal and life is everlasting. If this is an ancient text after all then it's possible it had a hand in inspiring the Charge as well - not that the concepts are not universal to say the least.

Lilac Lessons and Dirty Hands

2008-04-25T03:01:00.011-04:00

After four years of careful care and impatient waiting my little lilac is finally going to bloom. Of course the blooms look nothing like the picture above, which I found here, but I am hoping it's just because it's a different variety.

I consider the buds themselves to be little miracles; deep purple facets of hope and a testament to life. Everything finds a way to grow, bloom, and finally become something shamelessly beautiful.

Tomorrow I am going to make the first walk out to my humble herb garden, nested beneathe the triple cottonwoods that stand proud in front of the back acre. I know I will have a lot of clearing out to do but I am looking forward to getting my hands dirty and feeling the spring sun on my skin.

I hope the delicate lavenders are doing well and the soapwort I put in last year should be clinging to the stepping stones that run up the middle of the bed. I will talk to all of my green friends as usual and hope they will forgive me for neglecting them last year.

Then it's off to the vegetable garden to til and plant. I can't wait for fresh tomatoes in the summer and maybe we can finally get those carrots to grow. For some reason they are the most difficult little things to harvest in this area. We tried corn last year as well with very little luck. There was nothing knee-high by the 4th in our garden. But, we are still learning and the process is a journey that simultaneously nourishes body and soul.

Witches on MTV

2008-04-24T16:50:00.006-04:00

I found this article and the videos that go with it to be really positive. Raven makes great points and he is extremely articulate with his words. The things said are very general but also very true. Spells really are just prayers and not every Pagan is a goth. Cool stuff. Be sure to watch the videos below. The second one begins right after the first one ends.

Link to the full article

Kali: Goodbye Obstacles

2008-04-24T16:16:00.005-04:00

In the post just before this one I mentioned a painful time I recently experienced in my life. While I was thinking about this time I remembered that it began right after I had been practicing a mantra to the Goddess Kali everyday.

Kali or Kali-Ma is an element of Shakti who is known as a remover of obstacles, and the mantra was specifically designed to do just that. I personally see Kali as a dark aspect of the Goddess who transforms everything she touches.

So my question is, did Kali have something to do with this event in my life? Was this an experience that might fall into the category of birthing pains... as in "there is always pain before birth"?

"Something" was certainly removed from my life but it came back. I guess when I look at that "something" very closely it did not come back in the same form it was in. So perhaps the obstacle was removed, changed, then put back into place. Maybe that "something" couldn't be transformed by Kali until it was taken from me. And in that way both myself and the "something" were forever changed into new things.

I don't know. This is one of those metaphorical, esoteric talks I usually have with myself. Since I am finally opening up a little around here, I thought maybe I would present it to all of you too.

I've been thinking of starting the chanting up again but I am a bit gun shy as you can imagine. I know I still have obstacles to remove, but I'm not sure I can handle Kali's handiwork again just yet. We'll see.

Just an Imperfect Girl

2008-04-23T13:36:00.008-04:00

First, let me just say that I have no idea where this post is going to go. I guess this will sort of be an exercise in mental diarrhea for me, but that's not really unusual. If you’ve been around here long enough you will know that I am a babbler and a rambler and prone to rants at times. I know that it’s mistaken for being disorganized, confused, etc. But honestly I think it’s because I’m far too passionate for my own skin and I never stop trying to figure out the great puzzle of life even when I have lost all the end pieces and the one piece I have left doesn’t seem to fit.

I have gone through a lot of changes this year. My life isn't the same as it was. Well, the physical day in and day out is the same as it was a year ago, but something inside me has shifted; flipped over onto its back like a struggling turtle. I'm not sure how to turn it around - or even if I want to.

I was once a very stubborn girl - more so than at present. I was once so head strong that I pushed away everyone that loved me. I know now that I did this unconsciously because I was afraid they would push me away first. They all stuck around for the most part, bless them, but sometimes I don't know why they did. I made things and personal causes more important... I made my religion more important... more important than people and love itself.

I am suddenly confused about my direction yet as steadfast as ever in what I believe. I think now I can say that what I believe in is love, and yes even the romantic kind. I was born a hopeless romantic. This is a detail of my personality that I had given up on for years, throwing that part of myself away like old leftovers molding in the fridge. Fairytales, romance, love, etc. became a bunch of BS because my life hadn’t turned out the way I had expected it to. It was easier and less painful to simply say it was someone else’s fault or some grand trick played on young girls whose reading materials are full of princesses and prince charmings.

And then suddenly the only love I had ever known wasn’t mine anymore. Suddenly there was this huge hole in my heart that I was terrified would never be filled again. I was left to coast on alone like a bird floating on the winds made by speeding cars over a highway. I hated it. For countless years I had wanted freedom. When it finally came my entire soul screamed out for the loss of what I had known and I began to fight like a cornered animal, determined not to give up until I got that piece of myself back.

During this time of struggle I became an ungrateful little child, turning to my Mother and asking “Why? Why is this happening to me? Have you left me too?” I was so angry, so hurt, and feeling so alone that even the Goddess could not give me any comfort. Or maybe I didn’t let her. Yes, I abandoned her and focused only on myself. I can see now that she came to me through my physical mother... the woman who gave birth to me in this life and who has never faultered in her love for me. During this painful time I knew she was there with her arms open, waiting to give comfort and listen to me.

Now I am feeling a bit more whole and I know the love has returned - rather it never really left me in a way - but I don’t know how to stop the fight and the fear that comes along with it. I don’t know how to find that head-strong sureness again. Maybe that’s a good thing though. Maybe I needed a stiff shot of humility. I don’t know.

I’m not perfect. I’ve been told that I think I am but I really don’t. I guess I have this nasty habit of being too blunt and sometimes people think I’m being condescending. Problem is… I want to be perfect. I want to live up to the expectations and be the good girl. I want to do everything right and be that perfect shining apple in someone’s eye. When I can’t be those things I throw up my hands and throw in the towel. There must be a middle ground hiding inside all this crazy emotion. I know it’s there somewhere. How to find it is another story.

The Male Aspect of Goddess

2008-03-29T12:58:00.006-04:00

Athana has been coming up with some really great topics lately that are getting my fingers typing.

On Thursday in her post on Goddess and the Good Gods she poses the question "In a world where Goddesses swim at the center, what role should male gods play?" The post gets more in depth and the comments even more so. My comments are below.

I think our society has a lot of couples in it who choose to live together but not marry. It's getting pretty common actually. Maybe that's an in between point?

AS for male gods: in my tradition we see them as Goddess too because the idea of oneness of all things and all aspects of deity is seen to be truth. When looking at the myths of these gods often we see a patriarchal spin. Maybe it's important to try and see them in what might be considered their original, Goddess-like form.

I don't think the Goddess was concerned with controlling her male aspect or taming him into a figure that is solely her husband without his own independence. From my perspective the male aspect of the Goddess was a man of nature, with instincts and freedom. I think his instincts included very Goddess-like qualities like protection, paternal-instincts, etc.

I think we should also think about men as a way to study the Goddess' male aspect. They are not made like women - both in the obvious physical ways and the not so obvious psychological ways. The key to this may be realizing which qualities of modern men are imposed by the society they live in and which are inherent.

Baubo and the Profane

2008-03-27T22:00:00.005-04:00

Athana of Radical Goddess Thealogy and I have been discussing some interesting things lately. And her post on Baubo was the catalyst for the conversation. Below I have pasted the dialogue for your reading pleasure. :) Comment here if you like or run over to Athana's place to leave her some feedback.

Read my first comments at this earlier post on Baubo.

Athana said: I really like your interpretation of several of Baubo's prime characteristics, grian. I especially like the phrase "the perfectly imperfect animals She intended us to be." We in the industrialized nations tend to forget that we're animals, that we're imperfect, and that both things are just marvelously fine and nothing to be ashamed of.

Grian said: Exactly Athana. It's hard for a lot of people in our society to grasp the idea of not being perfect I think. We're all raised with certain ideas of what perfection is and we are taught to strive for such expectations. It's hard and sometimes a little soul-threatening to deal with. I can't count the number of times I felt I was bad because I made a mistake. I have beaten myself up for not being perfect - or at least for not living up to some intangible idea of perfect.

We are certainly animals. Modern people have just managed to burry our instincts a little better than most animals do. Or have we managed that? It seems a lot of things people think of as profane can be seen as quite instinctual.

Now a days I try to remember that we are not meant to be perfect. We are meant to be human - animals with all the baggage that comes along with it. Periods and even sex can sometimes be gross. There are smells and sweat, etc. Defication and other waste removing processes are certainly gross. But that's okay. Those things don't make us or the things we do any less sacred. It's all part of being an animal and a creation of the Goddess.

And sometimes being downright baudy is fun and makes other people smile much like Mother Demeter smiled at Baubo. Ask my friends. They often laugh at some of my crude jokes. Then again I might just scare them. :)

Athana said: But Grian, are bodily functions really gross, or have we just been taught they're gross? Have we been sold a bill of goods?

Animals don't appear to think bodily functions or secretions are gross. So why do we?

Thanks for reminding me, though, that making mistakes is not something to beat oneself up over. I've actually been doing that today. I think we in the Western and/or industrialized societies have certainly been taught that making mistakes is gross, unacceptable, and somehow a sign of inferiority.

So we all need to band together and remind each other constantly that that's a buncha hooey!!!

Grian said: I think bodily functions have become gross because somewhere along the line people began to understand the health concerns of leaving excrement in the streets and other such practices that led to poor health in civilizations. A corpse came to be seen as disgusting because we realized what a health concern it posed if left to rot without cremation or burrying it. Excrement and urine can breed disease. Washing the body regularly promotes health also. So, I think it's not so much that these functions are actually gross on their own, but as a way to keep people more healthy they have become seen that way. Because of these realizations we have jumped our average life spans from about 30 to the mid 70s.

As for making mistakes... as humans we make so many and I think that's an integral part of our learning process. Mama didn't put us here already knowing everything. Our souls need to grow and learn and sometimes making mistakes is the only way to do that. I personally invoke the Maiden aspect during those times I am feeling like garbage about myself. She reminds me not to judge myself and that I too am only a human being - though divine and holy - I am bound to a body and a life that comes with screw ups and hardships that help my soul to continue to strive for completion.

Oh... I also forgot to mention that even though menstruation is a holy process of the Mother - women left without the proper facilities to bathe during their moon times can get infections. This could be one of the main reasons why this has become a gross thing to some. Add on all the "women are evil" garbage from that bible thing and it becomes a downright taboo subject. I see that changing though. All the pad and tampon commercials - and yeast infection commercials - seem to be pointing towards a more open attitude about feminine hygiene.

Interesting Conversation

2008-03-26T18:33:00.004-04:00

Hey all. Just wanted to point you over to a post from a while back that is getting some attention lately. By attention I mean comments. So, head over to give it a read and see if you have anything to contribute. Below is a short segment of the original post.

Atheists and Whether God/dess Exists or Thoughts that Catholic Priests and Christian Ministers Secretly Think About

Are you there God?

I've been there, you know. I've been in that spot in the brain that causes doubt in all things not physical. I've been "Little Miss Doubty-Pants" and "The Queen of Rational Thought" before. If you asked me to explain how I got over it, I couldn't tell you. I'm not sure I ever closed the door on those thoughts, but I still believe in something greater. I don't care if it makes me a sheep in the eyes of Atheists, Secular Humanists, or Bob the grocery store clerk.

One day I thought to myself, "What if when we die we just break down into the planet and there is no consciousness?" That's the single most terrifying thought my brain has ever come up with. I can't say that I have completely reconciled this idea within myself. It still creeps in there every now and again when I least expect it, but I don't obsess over it.

~ read the entire post.

Always Inspired by H.H.

2008-03-25T00:16:00.003-04:00

While reading this week's issue of Time Magazine, dealing with the recent events in Tibet and the Dalai Lama's reaction, I was struck by a certain understanding...

I am a reactionary. I react with passion without always thinking things through with wisdom.

The Dalai Lama has long been a source of inspiration for me. He is an amazing person, a revolutionary thinker, and in my opinion perhaps the single kindest person on the planet. Just reading his words has a way of bringing a certain amount of clarity.

So, it is with this new clarity that I propose to change an aspect of myself and strive towards a more compassionate and understanding view of the world around me. I hope to no longer react out of frustration and anger while still retaining the passion that makes me who I am. I am counting on this being a struggle, but one that I know will be worth while in the long run.

My thoughts and prayers are with the Tibetan people and the innocent Chinese struggling for freedom. I hope a peaceful resolution comes within my lifetime.

The Goddess Baubo

2008-03-24T21:08:00.006-04:00

Athana at Radical Goddess Thealogy brought up the Goddess Baubo in a recent post and I found myself pondering this somewhat misunderstood aspect of the Great Goddess. Below is a link to Athana's original post and then my comments on the subject.

Wincing Over Baubo from Athana at Radical Goddess Thealogy

Grian: Baubo reminds me of the Sheila-na-Gig in some ways because she is not ashamed of her physical female-ness and shows it unabashedly to others. I also find connections with Kali-Ma as she is all at once a mixture of the divine and the profane.

I don't know that Baubo has been perverted by a patriarchal society. Misunderstood yes, though I find her story to still contain Goddess' lessons. I think the fact that Demeter is pleased by Baubo's actions shows that the Goddess not only has a sense of humor but also urges us not to place judgement on others when they "reveal" themselves to us.

I think there is something to be said for the Goddess showing us that there is a connection to her and that which we think of as profane. Maybe she is saying that embracing the "profane" things about us without shame is a way to get closer to her - or a way to understand the true nature she gave us without forcing ourselves to be more than the perfectly imperfect animals she intended us to be. Just some thoughts.

Read more about Baubo
:: Baubo, Greek Goddess of Mirth
:: Baubo on Wikipedia
:: The Story of Baubo

Way of the Master... Again

2008-03-14T11:41:00.006-04:00

Comic © Jeffrey Rowland - Overcompensating.com

If you've been reading Panthea for a while you will know that I have this big issue with a Christian show called Way of the Master starring Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron (yes, it's Mike Seaver from Growing Pains).

Perhaps I am a glutton for punishment, but I just can't seem to stop myself from watching the show and cruising the website. Why would a Goddess-centered Pagan do that, you ask? It's certainly not great for my blood pressure. Well the answer is simple. I believe the way of thinking presented on the show is dangerous to human society.

I honestly do not care what Ray and Kirk personally believe. In fact, I respect their right to practice any spirituality that suits them. My issues begin with the evangelism they spread across the globe that basically tells people how evil they are. Here in lies the conundrum. I respect Ray's and Kirk's right to practice their religion yet part of that practice includes evangelism - or spreading the word of the Bible. Yikes! I guess I'm bound to come off as not being tolerant no matter what I do.

So my purpose here is to say to anyone reading that you are not evil. You were not born bathed in sin. In fact, there is no sin and living life as the best person you can be is quite alright whether you believe in the Bible and Christianity or not. I don't think millions of Buddhists will be going to Hell at their end of their days. Can you imagine a man like the Dalai Lama belonging in Hell? How could a life of kindness and compassion sentence a person to such a place just because he didn't follow Christ? Ridicuous!

Oddly enough I don't believe Hell exists so let me make it clear that's not why the ideas of Way of the Master upset me so. I believe that people who believe they are evil will eventually begin to behave in a manner that fits that label. I believe that people can also be consumed with guilt and shame through their whole lives because of the ideas of sin and evil - allowing those emotions to become a kind of raw fear that threatens people around them and causes endless suffering. So, in an effort that may in fact be completely pointless, I confront the ideas of Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron and provide a more rational and peaceful alternative.

What these two men (and many evangelicals) have yet to figure out is that conversion tactics don't work on those who don't believe in the Bible or Christian theology. The people Ray and Kirk manage to "save" have been endoctrinated by society from an early age and already have some shreads of belief in Christian ideas. Guilt, fear, shame, etc. lead them back to Christ not love, light, or truth.

Toady I am going to tackle the 10 Principles for New Christians found on the Way of the Master site because while reading them I began to see a trend of irrational thought and couldn't stop myself from commenting. I guess it's a good thing this is my blog. :)

Principle One - Daily Bible Reading
This is great. If you're a Christian be a good one a read your Bible. Anything else makes you a hypocrite. So... no arguments here save for the whole bit about how the Bible tells you to evangelize and contains a bunch of woman-hating misogony. Yeah, that stuff anyone could do without reading. Nice stories though.

Principle Two - Faith
Faith is great - wonderful even. It's what makes us all get up everyday and function. But, the way the Bible and God are proved to be truth in this section is just silly. It basically states that God can't lie so of course the Bible is fact and Christianity is the way. Please give me a break. I don't believe in the Bible any more than I believe in any other world mytholgy. What makes it different is that millions of people believe it's the word of God. Well millions believe in the Torah, the Koran, etc. And millions believe in a kind of equality among mythology - seeing value in many sacred texts. So, Ray and Kirk have proved nothing.

Principle Three - Evangelism
Oh goodness. I'm not sure I even have the energy to tackle this one right now. I think I have undertaken a very large task and finding the right words will be a challenge.

I think evangelism is sort of what's wrong with modern Christianity. I will use the Dalai Lama again as another example. He doesn't go around preaching to those who don't want to hear him nor does he tell people that they will burn in eternal fire for not believing what he says. He is kind to humanity and to those who seek the words of the Buddha he imparts wisdom and experience.

Did anyone ever stop to think that perhaps evangelism was born of the desire to convert as many people as possible to the "state religion"? It's much more convenient to gain power through the hearts of people when you control their religion. "Pay your taxes or you'll go to Hell." "Let me have your daughter or you'll go to Hell." "Farm your fingers to the bone then give the king half your food or you'll go to Hell." It makes perfect sense and history is a nice little tool we can use to see this in action. The Church was rich and fat while the people suffered and were controlled by Biblical ideas.

Okay, this post has gotten way long. I will see about the other principles next time. Blessings!

Unmasking Goddess Interview

2008-03-14T11:23:00.002-04:00

Susy, an evangelical Christian, has begun to post the multi-part interview of me at her blog, Unmasking the Goddess. Head on over and give it a read. So far I am pleased with the presentation and feel it reads really well - honestly portraying my story and my experiences.

I regret that we weren't able to get into more Goddess-y stuff, but I also understand the point of the interview was to get to the core of why I chose Goddess religion in the first place. Hopefully I have made my points as well as I can in a non-offensive manner to other Goddess worshippers. I tried to speak for myself only.

If anyone would like to get a diallogue started on the contents of the interview or any of my opinions I would welcome the opportunity. Please use the comments form below to speak your mind.

Unmasking Goddess and Me Part 1

2008-02-13T10:17:00.005-05:00

I have been invited to have a conversation with Susy of Unmasking the Goddess about my personal "faith journey" and my experiences with the Goddess. The entire conversation should eventually be compiled and posted to her blog. Below is the first part of the dialogue - or what began as a dialogue. It has ended up more like an interview, but that format seems less confusing for readers to follow.

Susy: Thanks for inviting me to start. I guess I'd like to begin just knowing more about you and your "faith journey," as we call it in the church. Can you share your spiritual story? What is your background? Where and when did you start on your current spiritual path? What drew you to your current beliefs and practices? And where do you hope to go with it in the future?

Grian: Firstly, this is a great question and a great place to start - at what I guess would be considered the beginning.

I was raised by a single mother and for the first years of my life we lived with my grandfather. My spiritual story begins with him.

My grandfather was a devout Christian and every night as I lay in bed I heard him talking to God in the next room. He would literally kneel at his bedside and pray out loud in a dialogue with God. From this practice of my grandfather’s I learned about unabashed faith. He was never ashamed that the other people in our house could hear him praying, he only knew that it was important to connect with God in prayer. I consider this one of the most important spiritual lessons of my life.

My mother was not a church-goer. Though my grandmother had made sure I was baptized Methodist, my mother had always told me that we didn’t need to go to church to believe in God. I think she always felt there was a lot of hypocrisy going on within the walls of churches. She grew to believe this through personal experiences, but she has never really told me the details of those experiences. My mother would later realize that her beliefs were best described as Agnostic. I believe this is an accurate label since she always taught me that there was a God (something bigger than me that created the universe) but we were not a specific denomination in any way.

When I was a child I always had a strong belief in God. I prayed very often in my head throughout the day and before sleep as a regular practice. Though my faith was strong, I was also always afraid that I was doing something wrong that would get me sent to Hell. I was often terrified of the Devil and the whole idea of damnation.

As a teenager I began having recurring dreams about Jesus. They were good dreams and I would describe them as almost casual. Jesus and I would be walking down the streets of my small hometown and he would be dressed in jeans, a white t-shirt, and a pair of sandals. I still remember it very clearly. He would put his arm around my shoulders and say “Now, don’t tell anyone I’m Jesus. I’m here for you right now and I want to give you my full attention.” Then we would just talk about whatever I needed to talk about. Jesus would listen like a great friend and then walk me home.

I was 17 years old when the Goddess came into my life. I had always been intrigued by things of a spiritual or otherworldly nature and I believed there was so much more to know that my spiritual upbringing had not given me. So when a friend introduced me to the concept of Wicca, I began soaking up all the knowledge I could get my hands on. I didn’t consider myself Wiccan – and still don’t – but I wanted to learn all that I could about the ideas surrounding it.

At first, it was almost all about the idea of magic and the unknown. It was exciting and I suddenly felt like I was beginning to connect with something bigger – with the pieces I had always sensed were missing. Basically, I learned that I too could be a mystic; that I could connect with God on a personal level without the need for an intermediary such as a pastor or priest. I realize now that my grandfather and my mother were pivotal in helping me realize this.

When I was 19 I moved to Germany to live with my new husband who was in the military. Yes, I was married very young, but I believe this also helped me come to my spirituality more quickly than most. Instead of dating and being absorbed in the search for love throughout early adulthood, I was able to find comfort in my relationship so that my own interests could be explored.

My interest in Wicca had continued through this time, though I had become tired of the idea of spells and such. I felt it was just a little too silly for me. I can hear all the Wiccans being upset with me about that one, so I promise to make my position on that more clear at another time.

Anyway, I was searching for something more. I knew of the Goddess and had learned about her various aspects and faces through mythology, but I had yet to connect with her on that deeper spiritual level. Then one day, while walking in the woods behind our apartment building, I felt her there with me. As I bent down to admire the wild Lily of the Valley, I suddenly felt that I was not alone and never had been – that I was connected to all things and all things were one. Within nature I began to see the Goddess everywhere and in seeing her I began to truly see myself.

I hope I have answered your questions. I could continue on about why I choose Goddess religion and how I came to be who I am spiritually today for many more pages. But my story covers 13 years of education and discovery, so perhaps those things can be touched on in a later post.

God/dess: Genders

2008-01-18T09:46:00.000-05:00

Yet more comments that I posted over at Unmasking the Goddess. These in response to this post right here. I just can't seem to help myself.

"I believe God got it right in Eden when he put a Woman and Man in charge, together. That, I believe, should be our goal, neither elevating nor denigrating one sex over the other."

And Goddess worshippers believe this as well. Separation is not an idea that is embraced. Instead, there is an idea of Oneness that we believe the Goddess embodies. She is both male and female.

The idea of engendering God is something people do to connect with something that is basically hard to comprehend. The concept of God is huge. The human brain is not even capable of grasping the idea of infinite space, let alone the vast concept of God.

I think everyone has pictured God with human qualities before. Though we may believe God is a being beyond gender - or a being that contains both sexes - we do not imagine God as a hermaphrodite or as an androgynous or asexual being.

The ideas behind masculine and feminine represent metaphors that people can relate to and connect with. And, in my opinion, as long as one is reaching to understand the true nature of divinity what should it matter what tools are used to relate to that deity? You see, I believe your God is the same being as my Goddess. We just invision them differently. I believe there is only one being seen by the people of the world in many different ways.

And these comments were in response to this post on feminism being a dirty word.

Given the supplied definition of feminism, shouldn't everyone be a feminist? It's a shame there even needs to be a word for this since it should simply be natural for women to be seen as equal to men.

In Goddess communities I have struggled with the idea of feminism. I have always felt that I didn't want something that seemed so wholly politically motivated to describe my spiritual beliefs. Instead, I believe the Goddess teaches us about Oneness that overcomes gender.

Chai is Goddess

2008-01-17T00:49:00.000-05:00

I'm grateful for chai tea - more specifically what we call chai lattes. I have taken to no longer paying a lot of money for them at various cafes - starbucks included - and started buying my own chai mix to drink at home. I have also found a great site with chai recipes that you can make yourself.

Perhaps this is a little frivolous, but I decided to look up what chai actually means. In India it simply means tea but in Hebrew it is the word for life. I thought that was kind of cool. What an interesting metaphor. Chai is sweet, flavorful, milky, soothing, luxiourous, and comforting... at least to me. Wouldn't it be lovely if life was always that simple as well?

So, I was thinking there should be a Goddess of Chai. Afterall, there is a Goddess of Coffee. Well, I think that Goddess would also be considered the Goddess of any Caffenated Beverages. Perhaps I have found my Chai Goddess then.

Anyway... I am grateful for this little pleasure and how fortunate I am to be able to enjoy it whenever I wish. I hope every day that I can always find things to be grateful for... no matter how small. My mother always says it's the little things in life that matter - like playing with the dogs and hearing my daughter laugh. I think Mom knows a thing or two.

Color Meanings Across Traditions

2008-01-10T15:40:00.000-05:00

I was at work the other day and spoke to a man who was buying purple paper to use for church signs. In my quirky way I questioned him a little and he said that this color was a good liturgical color to make signs with. I thought it odd that purple would be a color associated with Catholic services, though I did remember priests wearing purple and the altars cloths having purple on them at various times when I had attending Catholic masses. The conversation went on to include the other colors and the man briefly gave me the meanings behind them all.

Purple
Catholic's Interpretation: A sombre color used during lent - the time before Easter, meaning the people are supposed to be refelecive during this time.
My Interpretation: A color associated with the supernatural world or psychic influences. Also, a color I think of when picturing old ladies. In older times only the king was allowed to wear purple. When I mentioned this to the Catholic man he thought that would make sense seeing as how Jesus was "King".

White
Catholic: Used during the high holiday of Easter and Christmas.
Mine: This made sense seeing as how white automatically symbolizes purity and peace. I also see this color as a symbol of the Maiden, beginnings, a clean slate, and insight.

Red
Catholic: I don't remember the complete explanation of this one, but I recall it being symbolic of blood.
Mine: I also associate red with blood, specifically the blood of the Mother, the blood of life, etc. It symbolizes birth to me, in conjunction with the Mother aspect, as well as warmth, compassion, love, protection. Overall, I would use the word passion to describe this color - meaning to me that it could be representative of any extreme or powerful emotion.

Green
Catholic: Used during the "normal" times were his words.
Mine: An extremely sacred color very closely associated with the complete All-Goddess aspect. Fertility, life, the earth, completion, oneness.

Black
Catholic: We did't get a chance to discuss this color.
Mine: The Crone, death and transformation, wisdom, etc.

Below is a definition of the liturgical colors of the Catholic church that I found on the internet. I find this a very Pagan concept, personally - though I am not surprised by that in the least. What would Pagan's use as "liturgical" colors? I know there are some trads that already use colors at certain times of the year. Is your tradition one of them? What do the colors mean to you and your tradition?

Liturgical Symbolism

The variety of liturgical colours in the Church arose from the mystical meaning attached to them. Thus white, the symbol of light, typifies innocence and purity, joy and glory; red, the language of fire and blood, indicates burning charity and the martyrs' generous sacrifice; green, the hue of plants and trees, bespeaks the hope of life eternal; violet, the gloomy cast of the mortified, denotes affliction and melancholy; while black, the universal emblem of mourning, signifies the sorrow of death and the sombreness of the tomb.

http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/04134a.htm

NOTE: How interesting that the liturgical colors of the Catholic faith are the main colors of importance in Goddess Religion/Paganism. Hmm... Interesting, but again not surprising.

Darn it! I Missed This.

2008-01-10T15:30:00.000-05:00

The sunrise at Newgrange was broadcasted live via web feed this year. I am so upset that I missed it. No worries, I will be sure to remember this year. It must have been very cool and the next best thing to being there in person. I will do that one day though. What a fascinating site by the way.

There is also a live feed of Maeshowe on the Orkney Islands. Thanks to Paul of Evoking the Goddess for sharing these wonderful sacred sites to those of us who can't visit just yet ourselves.

Earth as Goddess: Comments

2008-01-10T15:13:00.000-05:00

Yes, I am back and I know it's been forever. I could go on and tell you the stories of my life over the past few months, but I suppose I would rather keep those details private. Let's just say my focus needed to be on my personal life and my family. I think a person should know when to move focus between aspects of their life, and the Goddess led me where I needed to be at that time. So... to jump right in I have some comments about a post I just read over at Unmasking the Goddess.

First go ahead and read the post entitled The Earth as Goddess. It's an older one from September, but I've been out of the loop for a while and I'm catching up. :)

My comments:

If I may be so bold, I would like to explain something. Most Pagans (capital P like Christians) believe that there is no separation between nature and the Goddess (capital G like God). Just as you may admire a beautiful sunset and see the glory of God, Pagans see the Goddess in all things - very especially nature. The personification of the earth or nature is simply a form of myth and metaphor and not to be taken literally. It would be silly to think that all Pagans believe the earth is genuinely a human woman with god-like powers named Gaia. Gaia is a Greek myth once used to explain creation and the workings of our planet. Gaia, in fact, was the Greek word for earth. So, lets bring this down to Gaia for goodness sake, and avoid sensationalizing a serious religious topic.

Sincere Blessings, Grian

Do you agree or disagree? Let's discuss and debate this topic and get some opinons flying about the internet.

Quotes: a Grian-ism

2007-10-01T20:18:00.000-04:00

"If there is such a thing as sin, then it is not our actions that are the sins in themselves. It is when our actions hurt others that they then become sinful."

- Grian DeBandia

Life in Not So Many Words

2007-09-20T14:39:00.000-04:00

I'm sort of going through some things lately. I'll probably be taking more of a break in between posts than usual. Just promise not to give up on me. Again, I always come back... bouncing all the way.

My Very Own TV

2007-09-18T03:03:00.000-04:00

I just thought this little thing was very cool. I was just thinking about how bored I get sometimes between classes. Now I can watch TV on my own blog. :) I know I'm kind of geeky, but I'm okay with that. Anyway, check this little guy out.

Changing channels isn't a problem either. Just click the settings button on the far bottom right of the tv and you'll be watching mtv, animal planet, or the sci-fi channel in no time.

By the way, Mozilla does weird things to the player. I'd use IE if you've got it. If you're using Firefox then things might be acting a little strange and you may be wondering why in the world I posted it in the first place. Trust me it works in IE.

Does Kirk Cameron Read Panthea?

2007-09-12T22:28:00.000-04:00

Hey guys. Look at this comment I got today from an older post of mine entitled Know Thyself. Notice the little bit about The Way of the Master which is not once mentioned in the post itself. Maybe Kirk or his buddy Ray Comfort were doing a little search on their show and my blog came up. Why do you suppose this person prefers to remain anonymous?

Anonymous said...

Lee: According to Proverbs 18;2
"A fool has no delight in understanding except that her heart may discover itself". You can spend your whole life on a journey of self discovery and wind up in hell. Not becasue you haven't believed in Jesus but becasue you have sinned against a Holy, just and rightous God who WILL hold each of us accountible for "every idle word". Sin is simply the violation of God's law laid out in the Ten Commandments. If you are honest with yourself you have to admit that you have violated the whole of God's Law. Repent of your sin adn turn to him before it's too late. No one is promised tomorrow. I am glad you are watching The Way of the Master. May God use it to open yours eyes to His Truth.

I'm going to address this with a few simple words. First, I believe in the Goddess who is the Lady of Life. She carries the kind of love that all healthy mothers do for their children - for all of creation. Her lessons are very different from those of your just and righteous god of the bible. I don't believe in the bible. I don't believe in sin. I believe most (not all) of the ten commandments are obsolete and only served to control a less enlightened culture. I don't believe in your god. Your conversion tactics are wasted on me. I can only hope that the Mother calls out to you and enters your heart so that you may see real truth and freedom through the divine inspiration of her lessons. I mean no disrespect but wish you a journey full of open eyes and mystical experiences.

Libra: Library Software

2007-09-11T18:47:00.000-04:00

As Pagans we typically tend to have a lot of books on our shelves. Here is the perfect way to keep track of them all. It's a piece of freeware called Libra.

Not only is this a great piece of software to store your own personal book collection in a good looking way, but it's also a fully functional lending library. Groups, circles, covens, groves, etc. can employ this tool to lend out books to their members. The catalog can even be exported as a web file to be published. Members could view the online catalog, email the library owner, and then have the book brought to them at the next group gathering. It couldn't be simpler.

Circle members studying towards initiations may not have to purchase the required books if other members were willing to lend them out. Libra personally makes me feel a little bit more secure in knowing where my books are.

The best part of the whole thing is that Libra is free. I've been searching for something like this for ages. By the way, I am in no way affiliated with Libra. I just love the product. There also appears to be a lot of room for expansion on this product. You can even customize the background. My screenshot above has glass shelves (default to Libra) and my own pretty wallpaper pattern. Click the image to make it bigger and you'll notice that Goddess for Hire is marked OUT. This is because a circlemate borrowed it from me over the weekend. Now I'll know where this book is and when it was borrowed.

Cool stuff. Check out their website and give it a shot. There are loads more features that I didn't mention for you to explore and play with.

Ah Me... Randomness

2007-09-07T13:32:00.000-04:00

Hormones suck. I think maybe I need that pill that gets rid of PMS. I'm one of the lucky few who is capable of an emotional breakdown during a cycle. Yeah for me. I'm looking into more natural ways to control my hormones and I've been trying to cut down on my sugar intake to keep the PCOS at bay. I still feel icky. Some might say it has something to do with astrology but I'm more of an astronomy person. I'm not sure Mercury being in retrograde really does anything at all. But maybe. I'm willing to learn.

Anyway, I started school again this week. I'm actually taking an Astrology class - that along with Children's Lit and Painting. Hopefully I only have a few more semesters left before I can get that long awaited (12 years) degree. Of course I took some time away from school to get married and raise a kid. But now that my little one isn't so little anymore I can take care of some dreams I've had waiting on the back burner.

I'm still working with my circle as well. We're planning on doing closing ritual for our local PPD and have a meeting in regards to that event tonight. It will be nice to see everyone. But before I go there I am going to visit the traveling Vietnam Memorial. We're going with the in-laws and I know my mother-in-law is going to cry here eyes out. Goddess love her she is one of the most emotional people I know. I think that's a good thing though. A lot of people can't shed a single tear.

Alright, just some random stuff today. Maybe I'll tackle some more pressing issues tomorrow. Anyone have any ideas? Anyone new to Goddess Religion and have questions? Don't be shy.

Oh and those of your whose blogs I visit regularly - I haven't forgotten about you and I still visit. I just seem to have a lack of time to comment properly these days. I'll be back though. I always come back. Gotta love those cyclic things. Love you guys!

Just to Dance

2007-09-05T03:34:00.000-04:00

Just some random thoughts that ran through my head in the form of poetry. Yes, I actually do think in verse. Anyway, I'm looking towards Ma Kali to decapitate this melancholy I seem to be stuck in lately. Here's to a future containing a spontaneous series of up-notes.

Branches break against gale force
Yet the maples dance with subtle grace.

Ripped from limb to limb
They continue to move in rhythm.

Am I like the tree;
Destroying myself just to dance?

If so, who is the wind;
Who will be my partner in obliteration?

Is it a selfish wish to want someone to dance with?

The Frosts and Hymens

2007-09-01T20:09:00.000-04:00

I wandered over to The Frost's new blog and posted a comment on their post "Frost and Sex - Intacta" Go here to see the full post. My comments are below.

Comment One:

A hymen is never "intact". In fact it shouldn't be. Of course hymens vary in thickness, size of opening, etc - but there should always be an opening.

It is commonplace for a doctor to make sure an infant female has an open hymen. If the opening does not occur a physician may be employed to fix this before school age. Young girls begin to menstruate as early as 9 years old. Blood needs to be able to pass.

So, to say that the hymen is closed before first intercourse is completely false and rather ignorant.

Let's face it. In this day and age young girls use tampons, masturbate, get pelvic exams, etc. The hymen is rather irrelevant. An empowered, modern woman would hopefully be raised aware or her anatomy and be ready for the happenings of first intercourse. I didn't bleed a bit and over half of the young female population won't either.

Times have changed. I would say it's uncommon to be given a prudish upbringing. Sex education and a new generation of parents ready to give their kids "the talk" has increased awareness and empowered young females about their bodies. There is still some work to do but surgically removing hymens is not the answer. In fact, it's down right unnatural.

Of course I speak from an American point of view. Some parts of the rest of the world have much more work to do before women can be sexually liberated.

Comment Two:

And I'm sorry - did you say "acceptable guidelines"? What does that mean exactly? Should all Pagans subscribe to the beliefs that would be in these "guidelines"?

I would have to say that I would be completely against any practice like this for my daughter. My opinion is that the only guideline Pagans need is nature. The tearing, rupturing, etc. of the hymen is part of a natural process.

Birth is a bloody process too. Should we find some way to make that more pleasurable? Some women don't lose their hymens completely until they give birth. Should we do something about that too. Come on now.

Satisfaction Saturday

2007-08-25T11:21:00.000-04:00

I woke up this morning ridiculously thirsty. That was most likely due to the fact that I had a few glasses of wine with great friends last night. Anyway, as I poured water into my dog's bowl I thought about how amazing it was that water ran right out of the tap - that with a twist of the wrist pure, beautiful water poured into our homes. We are so unbelievably fortunate. We never have to go thirsty.

How many people in this world don't have water to drink and if they do it's full of bacteria? They have to go without or only drink a little to survive where as we can simply gorge ourselves on the cool, sweet water that pours into our homes like liquid life.

I didn't choose water for my first beverage today. I chose a glass full of orange juice. Not that tiny little juice glass they give you at restaurants - a big giant pint glass. And again I found myself contemplating how amazing it was that I could have such a large amount of that juice. I drank it down gratefully and quickly, quenching my thirst like a woman who's been sitting in the blazing sun of the desert.

How many people have never tasted orange juice? How many people have never eaten an orange or an apple? I could go to the grocery store right now and buy the juice of pomegranates. How many people can't do that? Actually I could suck down all that OJ right now and go buy more to replace it. How many people have to cherish every precious sip of juice or water? How many people are afraid of it running out? How many are terrified of going thirsty?

I sit here now with my pint glass full of water and consciously realize how grateful I am to have it. When I am overwhelmed with thirst first thing in the morning I don't have to go without. I don't have to thirst. I can walk to the sink and pour myself a cool glass of water.

Did you ever notice that water out of the bathroom sink tastes better? Maybe it's just me.

Restlessness

2007-08-21T01:53:00.001-04:00

I think I’m bored. No, restless is a better word. Do you ever just want to scream at the computer screen “Wow me! Move me! Give me something!”? Well, that’s how I feel tonight.

I click on the same links again and again just hoping that this time there will be something fantastic to see. It amazes me that the internet is so vast yet I have very narrow lenses with which to look at it with. Maybe I have too much time to look. This is not the norm for me, but lately I feel the need to do something mindless as opposed to working at the computer. I guess that’s my escape strategy.

So, I am asking you, my friends and fellow web-junkies, to gift me with some of your favorite links or simply give me some insight into what you do on the net. Where do you go to be wowed and moved? What places on the web evoke your passion or tickle you mind?

If you don’t have a link to share take a moment to have some pity on a poor girl with no virtual friends.

Dancing Under the Moon

2007-08-17T03:58:00.000-04:00

I danced under the Maiden moon tonight, spinning like a child beneath the branches of the old cottonwoods. I hummed a song I know... Aphrodite, Iris, Artemis, Persphone, Danu, Demeter, Hera, Isis, Selu, Morrigan, Hecate, Cerridwyn, Kali-Ma... and I let the Goddess speak.

I heard her voice moving on the wind, in the cricket song, and in the beating of my own heart. The trees danced with me in an ancient rhythm only some feel and an ancient tune only some hear.

I resisted the urge to run through the meadow and into the circle in the back. I don't know why. Maybe the old cherry tree knows. I should ask her the next time I sit with her. I'm sure she has more answers than I do.

Or maybe the snakes that slither among the tall blades of grass and giant thistle know something I don't. Or perhaps one of the other animals knows. The deer, the groundhog, the chipmunks, the skunks, the hawks... maybe they can tell me.

Hopefully I can be a good listener.

More Doll Pictures

2007-08-15T14:30:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I'm a little out of hand with this doll thing. LOL. Anyway, I opened all their eyes and I'd love to know which you all like better if you've got a minute. See the post below for the eyes closed faces. Thanks everybody!

Oh, there's also a new one - Hera. She's not complete yet though. She needs a peacock feather in her hair.

Long Time No Post

2007-08-14T15:36:00.000-04:00

Yeah, so I sort of disappeared for a while. Sorry about that. I'm feeling very blah lately and I'm just plain not that motivated to blog. I hope you guys haven't lost faith in me. Sometimes I just need to retreat into myself - into my home and space.

I have been creating a bit lately. I've been making Goddess dolls and painting a little. There are some pics below. (In order: Brigid, Brigid close up, Blodeuwedd, Shakti, Oshun, Ameterasu.) I have lots of plans for those little dolls and paintings inspired by them. Now I just need some more of that motivation I've been lacking lately.

Anyway, let me know what you all think about the dolls if you get the chance. Feed the artist! :) I have a design ready for baby-safe Goddess dolls too with rattles inside of them. I think they'll be adorable. Thanks for being patient with me while I hibernate. I can feel the cloud lifting so I think you'll be hearing more from me soon.

Blogger Reflection Award

2007-08-03T18:31:00.000-04:00

Turtleheart over at Turtleheart Cove has nominated me for a Blogger Reflection Award. Thank you so much Turtleheart. I really appreciate this honor. I gather that the point now is to pick some blogs that make me think and reflect as well.

I am inspired by many individuals and many ways of thought. It was hard to only pick 5. I love each of these people for different reasons but especially for their very strong sense of self and the honesty with which they portray that.

Terri, Billy, Hecate, Sojourner, Athana

10 Questions for the Dalai Lama

2007-07-31T14:39:00.000-04:00

I love the Dalai Lama. He’s always smiling and he just seems like the coolest monk ever. He even has his own official website. Wouldn't it be cool if the Lama was a blogger?

I own a bunch of his books, I’ve read his autobiography, and I even listen to his audio books on my iPod. The last one, The Universe in a Single Atom, was narrated by Richard Gere. I have to listen to that one again. It was pretty heavy.

From his autobiography I learned that he is just a normal Tibetan guy who happens to be a monk - well THE monk. He likes tinkering with mechanical things like watches and radios and even wanted to neglect his studies at times just to do this.

He has faced the deaths of many of his people and had to flee his homeland for fear of his life at the hands of Chinese Communists. All this in his teens and twenties. He now lives in India in exile because China won't give up Tibet.

A new independent film, 10 Questions for the Dalai Lama, is opening up in my home town theatre. The trailer gave 7 of the 10 questions and I thought I would post them here for us to discuss. I’m curious to see what the Lama thinks.

Why do the poor seem happier than the rich?

Is there hope for peace in the Middle East?

Should we engage China?

Is internet freedom good?

Will there be another Dalai Lama?

Does tolerance work?

Can we save our environment?

Thou Art Thursday

2007-07-26T21:21:00.001-04:00

Thou art Goddess... I am Goddess... we are Goddess. The Goddess is all life - all things.

It's storming right now. The rain is pouring down on the roof of my hundred-year-old house. It's worn, in need of repair, but well loved. My house is Goddess.

The lightning strikes with brilliant flashes of white, brightening the sky up like day. The thunder is never too far behind. When I was a child my mother told me that "god" was bowling and that was how thunder was made. I always wondered why "god's" league never met on the same day every week and why some weeks they didn't play at all.

This storm I sit in is Goddess. It's the growl of the Great Mother Bear, the tears of the Mourning Crone, and the the shining light of the Free-Spirited Maiden. She is with me, around me, surrounding me, and within me.

Just for Fun: Memes

2007-07-25T15:22:00.000-04:00

With all the memes choking the web – none of which really blow my skirt up – I thought I’d come up with some of my own. Now be warned… some of these are entirely serious while others are just plain fun. You get to figure out which is which. Let's try not to take ourselves so seriously all the time. "All things of love and pleasure are my rituals."

Feel free to use any of these on your own blog. Just give this page some link-love and maybe leave a comment about your "Made up Meme Mania" inspired post.

If you have some meme ideas of your own just use the Monday Meme qualifications below and send me a comment so we know where to find them.

Of course no meme is complete without linker buttons! So I added some. :)

Meandering Monday
Photograph, post, or both about your daily/weekly meanderings. This could be traveling around your own head, your backyard, your city, or wherever.

MAMA Monday
A day to muse about the Goddess, similar to the (Insert Day Here) Goddess Blogging posts I’ve seen.

Monday Meme
Come up with your own memes – like the ones you are reading right now. Rules: There has to be a day of the week and a word that has the same first letter of that day. It’s more challenging that way. You can see the examples all over this post. Oh, and I guess you should post it on Monday.

Tuesday Tickles
and/or Tuesday Tickles Less
Blogging about things you find humorous or humorless.

Tuesday Tush-fest
I just thought this one was funny. This is the day for asses. Pictures of them, posts about them, etc. Taste is required of course.

Wandering Wednesday
Like Meandering Monday but on Wednesday.

Wednesday Walk-About
Like Wandering Wednesday but for Aussies. *wink*

Thou Art Thursday
Post your regular rendition of the Thou Art Goddess posts like this. "Thou Art Thursday is Goddess."

Thursday Thanks
A day for gratitude themed posts. For example: I’m thankful for ice cream, showers, and the color green.

Fountainhead Friday
Let your creative juices flow. Throw around ideas, inspirational sources, knowledge resources, and completed creative endeavors. Or just be any kind of fountainhead. Tell everyone you know what you know.

Five Finger Friday
Steal a post from someone else. Well, don’t really steal it. Post a post of someone else’s on your blog and link back to them graciously.

Saturday Swap Meet
Swap posts and links with another blogger. Free exposure and linkage for all!

Selling Something Saturday
This is the day for obligatory plug posts for your wares – if you have any to sell. You can also post book reviews linked to your Amazon.com associate account, and other affiliate program related things. Basically, anything you wish to make some money off of is designated for this day.

Sunday Suck-fest
Start the week off on a bad note for a change. Tell the world what sucked about your previous week and what or who pissed you off. "Damn that automatic door at the grocery store." Don’t forget to make it better on Thou Art Thursday. "The automatic door at the grocery store, which pisses me off to no end because it opens too slowly when I’m in a hurry, is Goddess."

Salute You Sunday
What makes you so friggin cool? Do you have a 100 things about me list? Do you feel the need to tell a completely self indulgent story about little ol’ you? I know I do. Then this is the day for you – er us. Maybe this should be called Salute Me Sunday instead. Well, you could also salute someone else – like your mom, you brother, your best friend – whoever. Tell the world wide web what’s so completely marvelous about the people in your life. Seriously, that would be a nice thing to do. And if you really need it – spread some love about yourself too.

Catching a Bumblebee

2007-07-25T13:44:00.000-04:00

I tried so hard yesterday evening to catch a bumblebee sucking the nectar out of my catnip. But he was too quick and these are how the pictures came out. I think the effect is kind of cool. You can see the little guy somewhere in the last one.

LITTLE NOTE: Turn your head to the left to look at the pictures. Do you see the watercolor-like landscapes?

Goddess Inspired Poetry

2007-07-22T15:21:00.000-04:00

I found this free e-book on Lulu.com last night while publishing my own little written venture. It's called Maiden, Mother, Crone - A Celebration of All Goddesses and it's written by LeRoy McKitrick.

LeRoy writes about the Goddess, the women in his life, and the Goddess inside those women. It's truly lovely and only 36 pages long - so a nice quick read for those of us without a bulk amount of spare time. I've pasted two of his poems below. Give them a read then head over to Lulu to download this little treasure.

I found some other Goddess-y ebooks too, but I haven't had the time to read them just yet. When I do I'll let you know how they are.

"Untitled"

Matrilineal bloodlines
forever as true
never will it be questioned.
-The womb you grew in
shall always be the same.
The seed you grew from can
never be proven to be
your genesis.
Your roots can only lead
back to the Goddess.

"Untitled"

WITH GIANT STRIDES THAT
MARK OUT THE PRIMEVAL
HEARTBEAT OF AN EARTH
NOT SEEN BY LIGHT OF DAY
SHE PERMEATES ALL WITH
HER SIGHT.
AMONGST THE TREES NOTHING
IS HIDDEN, UNKNOWN.
A FERAL GRIN ERUPTS ON
HER LIPS AS SHE BREATHES
IN, SCENTING, TASTING, TOUCHING…
KNOWING –
MOONLIGHT BREAKS INTO TATTERED
SHARDS OFF GLACIAL BLUE EYES
THAT SAY –
I AM WOMAN
ALL THAT I AM AND ALL THAT
I WILL BE
KNOW ME AND FEAR ME
FOR THE MOON IS MY SISTER
AND THE WOLF MY MATE
I AM THE GODDESS!
SHE THUNDERS ON.

Unmasking the Goddess Blog?

2007-07-19T15:09:00.001-04:00

I found this blog the other day - "Unmasking the Goddess" - about a Christian woman (Susy Flory) who is set to, as the title suggests, "unmask" the Goddess. I am sure this means she plans to somehow disprove the existence of ancient Goddess societies and discredit the entire religion.

For some reason I'm a glutton for punishment because I am gradually reading every single one of Susy's posts. My idealist brain is already processing an elaborate plan to defend Mama from this very passive-aggressive attack and better the world at the same time.

Quick! Someone get the restraints. And bring some chocolate. And a bottle of Pinot Grigio. The big bottle. Oh, and maybe some caramel sundaes.

Oh, who am I kidding? I'll probably just end up bitching about my aggravation here. Who knows, maybe this woman's work might even spark a good topic for debate. Or just annoy the crap out of me.

*currently chanting "frankie says relax" as my personal mantra*

UPDATE: Read Susy's story The Goddess Unmasked to get her blog contents in a nut shell - a large, rotten nut shell full of manure. Sorry... letting my annoyance show again. Back to my mantra.Frankie says relax...

Why Satanists Aren’t Pagans

2007-07-19T02:33:00.000-04:00

Definitions for Pagan:

a person who follows a polytheistic or pre-Christian religion (not a Christian or Muslim or Jew)
wordnet.princeton.edu

A generic term for a number of pre-Christian faiths – druids, witches. Pagan faith is linked to locality and to the Earth.
www.druidnetwork.org

While I think most people who read this blog probably already know the meaning of the word Pagan I thought the above definitions illustrated my main point in this article. That point being that a Satanist can not be a Pagan because Pagans (as can be seen above) are defined as being practitioners of pre-Christian religions.

Satan is a Christian figure – or an Abrahamic figure to be more technical. How then can people who follow a Christian figure belong within an umbrella that is specifically defined as pre-Christian?

The Luciferian Factor

Lucifer is also known as the Morning Star – Venus – a Goddess. Lucifer sounds like Lugh also. God of light anyone? Why not just be Pagan? At least then you can actually break out of the Christian mold.

My Thoughts

I’m not out to make enemies of Satanists. I have met some and they all seem like pretty decent folks. To each his/her own. I do, however, want to state my opinion on Satanism as I see it.

I have read up on the subject and I believe Anton LeVey himself admitted that the Church of Satan was set up as a publicity stunt. He wanted to be famous and so he figured causing a stir among the straights would be a way to get it. Yay for him. He literally became a pop-guru in his time. Rocking the boat of the establishment is usually a good thing, but in my opinion this makes Satanism more of an elaborate joke as opposed to a religion.

The Black Mass is intended to be the opposite of a Catholic Mass. This sounds like some teenagers just trying to do exactly what Mommy and Daddy told them not to. Dad says you can’t date that boy so you sneak out down the lattice work to do it anyway. You rebel!

I don’t think Satanists should be thought of as Pagans or call themselves Pagans. I have no problem with misfits sticking with misfits – as in both Pagans and Satanists working towards religious freedom, etc – but there should be a clear distinction between the two groups.

Got some thoughts? Want to argue my points? I love a good conversation. Hit the comments links below to start one.

A Real Vagina Dentata

2007-07-15T16:59:00.000-04:00

Apparently this news is two years old, but it's brand new to me.

From Wikipedia

In 2005, inventor Sonette Ehlers introduced the "Rapex", an anti-rape female condom which can be inserted into the vaginal canal like a diaphragm. The product is lined with barbs which attach to a rapist's penis and which must be surgically removed. In an article about the Rapex, Ehlers stated that she was inspired to invent the device after meeting a victim who told her, "If only I had teeth down there."

From TimesOnline.co.uk

FURIOUS South African women have called for a controversial new anti-rape device, dubbed a “rat trap”, to be banned by the Government.

The tampon-like device, invented by a woman, supposedly protects women from rapists by cutting into a man’s penis.

It has sparked an empassioned debate over the high number of rapes committed each day in the country and the authorities’ apparent failure to tackle the issue.

Activists are outraged and want to stop it going on sale alongside tampons in chemists and supermarkets next month.

Charlene Smith, a leading anti-rape campaigner, said: “This is a medieval instrument, based on male-hating notions and fundamentally misunderstands the nature of rape and violence against women in this society. It is vengeful, horrible, and disgusting. The woman who invented this needs help.”

I'm just not sure how I feel about this. As usual, I had an initial response then thought about the issue and identified the other side of it.

Being familiar with the concept of a Vagina Dentata that's what immediately came to my mind. I thought this device was a rather empowering idea - at first. But, the more I think about it the reason men rape seems to rarely be based on the sex act alone. There are typically a whole lot of deep seeded mental issues (or a society in need of education and female liberation) involved that getting your penis caught in a barbed vice isn't necessarily going to cure.

So, is this actually some archaic device created by a woman who hates men and perhaps has her own issues to deal with - that creating dentures for her girl parts isn't going to fix? Or is it a way to prevent rape and catch rapists in countries where little is being done for violated women? What do you think?

This Might Piss You Off

2007-07-13T14:53:00.000-04:00

I was reading Deborah Lipp's blog, Property of a Lady, the other day and found a post entitled Harassment in an Elevator.

At first I totally bought this article. I was like "Yeah, those guys suck. Society is screwed..." Then I took a shower and thought about it. I mean really thought about it. The conclusions I came up with were much different than my initial reaction.

Then, in the interest of getting all the facts, I wandered over to where the post originated from and saw some pictures. Firstly, I'm not saying this woman is not attractive but she certainly does not look like a stripper. I think it's the leotard. She looks more like a dancer. Strippers typically don't shop at the same places ballet dancers do. And the gloves or wristlets she's got on say "costume" for sure.

So, after gathering my facts and giving this some serious thought I now have a well formulated opinion. Or something like it. Below is the original article and below that is what I have to say about it. You can choose to only scroll half way if you're not interested in my thoughts.

Until, going to the bathrooms on the second floor alone**, I stepped into the elevator. It was filled with men who were all taller than me, and not wearing WisCon badges. They looked surprised and pleased as I got in. And I felt uneasy and self-conscious before I had time to think of why.

“Well, hey, now,” one guy murmured. “Hey there.”

“Yeah,” another chuckled.

“Second floor, please,” I said.

“Hey!” someone else said. “What’s going on on that floor?”

“Costume party.”

“Well, can we go?”

They laughed appreciatively. I said “No.” And I got out.

And that was it. They didn’t say anything foul, they certainly didn’t touch me, and it wasn’t even close to harassment by the standards of our society. So why was I shaky and scared and angry afterwards?

Two things:

1) At the costume ball, my clothing – fishnets, black leotard, blonde wig - was coded “superhero”. In the elevator, it was coded “stripper”.

2) Everyone is conditioned to assess women primarily by how sexually attractive and/or available they appear to be. Making that assessment clear is normal. Vocalizing that assessment is normal. Blaming women for others harassing or abusing them based on how attractive they are or what they were wearing at the time is normal.

If you’re gearing up to say something like “But nothing really bad happened!” or “Well, what did you expect?” or “Come on, weren’t you looking for attention?”, or “They were just being nice!”: don’t.

I know that those men almost certainly meant me no harm; they probably thought expressing a wish to follow me to a party was a compliment. It is entirely possible that none of them have ever imagined being in an enclosed space with a group of big strangers eyeing you up and asking if they can come with you could be a frightening experience. Our culture is set up so that they’ve never had to.

This and like incidents have happened to me, like many women, time and time again: strange men telling me to “smile!”; strange men shouting “Show us your tits!” as they drive past; strange men groping my breasts and ass in crowded train carriages.

(Women also buy into the patriarchal imperative to judge women primarily by their physical appearance, and that is also extremely unpleasant. However, as it is far less likely that women will follow such assessment with rape or other violent crime, it is generally much less threatening when a woman says, “You look like a whore.”)

If a woman doesn’t want to be viewed – for some weird reason - as a sex object, her choices are limited. She can be visibly angry or ignore harassment, in which case she is a FRIGID BITCH who can’t take a COMPLIMENT from NICE GUYS. Or she can be pleasant in an attempt to show them she’s actually a human being, in which case she may be ASKING FOR further “compliments” with her MIXED SIGNALS.

Or she can stay at home.
- Karen of Girls Read Comics (And They’re Pissed)

Now for my thoughts...err rant. Stop reading now if you suspect this might piss you off and you're not in the mood. :)

"I felt uneasy and self-conscious before I had time to think of why."

If you're uneasy and self-conscious why is that someone else's fault? I have been in this situation numerous times, and while being surrounded by a bunch of strange men can be somewhat intimidating, it doesn't have to be. Why not make it an empowering situation? At that moment they were admiring the woman walking into the elevator. She made a conscious choice to feel uneasy and nervous. She could have chosen to feel powerful and even beautiful.

Let's face it folks, we're animals. Animals are driven by instinct. Our instincts tell us to be attracted to someone or not. Men are easily attracted to a woman who appears to be fun, interesting, and yes clad in tight clothes. Remember that our ancestors didn't wear clothes. The body is a big turn on. Anyway, I digress.

Men (straight men) are hard wired to be attracted to women. It's just a biological fact. And thank goodness for it or there would be no people on this planet. It is this drive to reproduce (in conjunction with the natural nurturing qualities of women) that is responsible for the thriving human race. If we expect men to honor us for being what makes us women - bleeding, birthing, nursing, emotional-izing, multi-tasking, powerful women - then why shouldn't we honor them for what makes them men? Yes they are sex driven and yes most of them have the will power to control those desires. But they can't control the every-seven-minute sexual thoughts any more than we can control the blood that pours from our wombs.

Now, before I get the whip let me clarify that I do not believe women should should be seen or used as objects. But admiring a beautiful woman in an elevator is far from objectifying her.

I've been married to the same man for almost 11 years. In that time his libido has not slowed down for a second. For a long time I would get annoyed when he told me I was hot or that he thought I looked sexy. I thought that was his feeble attempt at getting into my pants. In a way, that's true, but at the same time this is how a lot of men know how to show interest, affection, and desire for their partner. In short it's a normal working of the human brain to want to be desired and to desire someone else.

My main point here: You can choose to feel powerful instead of weak. You can choose to be a gorgeous and confident woman who can wrap a man around her finger. Or you can choose to be a frightened little girl with confidence issues. There are thousands of women who would love to be shown a little (appropriate) attention by a bunch of men.

This leads me to another point.

"Everyone is conditioned to assess women primarily by how sexually attractive and/or available they appear to be."

No kidding. And women do the same thing with men. Are you going to go up and talk to the unattractive guy at the bar who looks like he might not have showered in a week or are you going to catch the eye of the hunky 6 foot guy with nice hair? Again, this is another biological instinct. We go for the people who appear to have the better genes or jeans. Physical attraction is huge. Imagine being in a relationship with a really nice guy who couldn't turn you on. One word: Hell.

American men could use some changing. This is very true. Mostly I think they should learn to be more cultured, less interested in football, and more vocal with their emotions without having their buddies question their sexuality. And absolutely many of them could learn to appreciate and honor women instead of objectifying them. Let's just keep things in perspective and remember that they are men - human - and they can't control their hormones any more than we can.

To close I am going to clarify a few things.

- There is a big difference between admiration and harassment.
- There is a big difference between attraction and objectification.
- There is a big difference between showing someone attention and raping them.
- There is a double standard for men that shouldn't be there. Men are Goddess too.
- There is a choice in everything.

Now bring on the flogging.

Everything's Coming up Goddess

2007-07-10T03:28:00.000-04:00

A few days ago I read this post at Aquila ka Hecate which then led me to this post by Hecate. Check out the quotes below.

"I resolved this morning on the way to work to see everything I beheld as Goddess.
My partner beside me, driving my car-he is Goddess.

The car herself is Goddess. Her name is Astarte.

The early morning lights of Woodmead, with those dreadful smoke stacks billowing against the sky -that's Goddess."

- Terri at Aquila ka Hecate

"and that my chance to go back to my office and do what I do best in all the world -- write and edit -- is Goddess, and that my ability to mange everyone's emotions is Goddess, and that getting to read a perfect ritual proposed by my brilliant friend E. for my genius friend B. is Goddess and that a half an hour -- a whole half an hour -- alone in the car with the gorgeous man-Son-Scorpio lawyer that I bore and raised all by myself -- a whole half an hour with Son -- is Goddess, and that his beautiful, kick-ass, wonderful mother of a wife is Goddess,"

- Hecate

So now the words "thou art Goddess" have become my personal mantra. If I too can resolve to see everything around me as Goddess perhaps I can be the "better self" Hecate talks about in the rest of her post.

The cigarette - potentially deadly; toxic, billowing spirals of smoke around my head like "my own locomotive" as Billy Collins said - this is Goddess. The anger that composes up my shadow and hurts other people is Goddess. My husband - who gets that anger and my heart - he is Goddess (especially his sexy butt). The grocery store clerk who makes me want to call her a dumb ass - she is Goddess. My mother - who drives me nuts and makes me love her fiercely all at the same time - she is Goddess. My daughter - my source of giggles and faithful partner in ice cream crime - she is most definitely Goddess. The people I look at with disgust - like twenty year olds who wear jeans so low their labia are almost visible or their boyfriends with their hats spun sideways and a chunk of fake diamonds around their necks - they are Goddess. My neighbors who I all too often think of as white trash - they are Goddess. My Circle mates - they are Goddess - Goddess of much needed laughter, love, and spiritual connection. My best friend - long time support system and my journeying companion - she is very much Goddess; the Goddess of no-panties.

Maybe with those words perpetually in my mind I can start to see the world and other people with fresh fruit eyes; brand new and ripe with sweetness. Maybe I can stop being angry when my girl-mones rage and the heat has gotten the best of me. Maybe I can stop blaming the anger on the girl-mones and the heat and get a good look at the giant still life of sadness that hides in some locked box inside my brain. And maybe I can just remember that I am human - but Goddess - and I don't have to be afraid to fail at being perfect.

UPDATE: Many thanks to Hecate and Terri for their lovely posts. Quite honestly I think this topic has been something life changing for me. As you can see I've added some stuff to the top of the page that relates to the "Everything is Goddess" idea. I've realized now that this entire blog has been about this concept and I am eternally grateful to the two of you for expanding my understanding and speaking your truth.

Newsweek On Faith: Pagans

2007-07-09T20:47:00.001-04:00

I don't know how I missed this. The question this week at the OnFaith Column of Newsweek Online is:

This July 4, Pagans rallied outside the White House. They want the military to add a Pagan chaplain. Should they get one? Would you vote for a Pagan for public office?

I couldn't even begin to write down everything that has gone through my head while reading the responses and comments. Basically that's because I'm hotter than Hades' butt crack and just need to find some air conditioning or some ice cream. So I think you should just head on over and read it all for yourself.

Click here to go read it.

Goddess Inside a Piece of Jerky

2007-07-09T03:23:00.000-04:00

I had a thought today while eating beef jerky. Weird, I know. Anyway, I was thinking to myself that I was consuming the life of another living thing. I was then struck with a thought about the concept of Oneness...

If all things are one - are the Goddess - then the Goddess destroys parts of herself to help other parts of herself to thrive. Why then do you suppose she would "pick" us to be the kind of life that thrives more than some others. The Goddess teaches that all life is one life and no life is more worthy than another. So what makes us so special? Do we contribute more somehow to her well being? Do we provide more physical experience for her than other life forms?

I searched for a metaphor for this and tried out my own body. I haven't come to any conclusions yet, but I am trying to see what my body destroys that are a part of me - that I presumably need to survive - in order to "feed" other parts. I know these are some obscure thoughts, but I thought it might be something worth pondering. I'll be searching for other metaphors/comparisons and looking into science, the natural world, human physiology, etc. to gain some insights if anyone wants to ponder or search with me.

One insight so far: We create. Not just other beings but art, poetry, buildings, etc. We have reasoning abilities that other animals do not that allow us to create without mixing our DNA with someone else's.

Living Goddess Stripped of Status

2007-07-05T21:00:00.000-04:00

I think the following recent news story deserves a little discussion. What are your thoughts on this? Does this sound like Goddess Religion to you? I'll chime in as soon as I get over being pissed and have a minute to think about it rationally.

KATMANDU, Nepal — A 10-year-old Nepalese girl was stripped of her title as a living goddess because she traveled overseas to promote a documentary about the centuries-old tradition, a news report said Tuesday.

Sajani Shakya had her status revoked because she broke with tradition by leaving the country, the state-run National News Agency reported, quoting Narendra Prasad Joshi, chief of the Bhaktapur Taleju Temple where Sajani is based.

Sajani is among several "Kumaris," or living goddesses, in Nepal, but as one of the kingdom's top three, is forbidden from leaving the country.

However, last month she left Nepal for the United States and other countries to promote a British documentary about the living goddesses of the Katmandu Valley.

Temple officials will replace Sajani when she returns to Nepal later this week, the report cited Joshi as saying.

Living goddesses are worshipped by both Hindus and Buddhists. The girls are selected between the ages of 2 and 4 after going through several tests.

They are required to have perfect skin, hair, eyes and teeth, they shouldn't have scars or wounds, and shouldn't be afraid of the dark.

They always wear red, pin up their hair in topknots and a "third eye" is painted on their forehead.

Devotees touch the girls' feet with their foreheads, the highest sign of respect among Hindus in Nepal.

During religious festivals the girls are wheeled around on a chariot pulled by devotees. Living goddesses usually keep their title until their first menstruation.

The main Kumari lives a sequestered life in a palatial temple in the capital, Katmandu.

She has a few selected playmates and is allowed outside only a few times a year for festivals.

Others like Sajani are allowed to stay at home, attend regular school and take part in festivals.

The government last year announced a monthly pension of $40 for serving and retired Kumaris. Previously, the main Kumari received only a gold coin during an annual festival and the other girls received whatever was offered by devotees.

Nepalese folklore holds that men who marry a former Kumari will die young, and so many girls remain unmarried and face a life of hardship.

Critics have said the tradition violates both international and Nepalese laws on child rights.

source: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,287839,00.html

Quote: The Witch of Portobello

2007-07-05T20:47:00.001-04:00

"Everyone's looking for the perfect teacher, but although their teachings might be divine, teachers are all too human, and that is something people find hard to accept. Don't confuse the teacher with the lesson, the ritual with the Ecstasy, the transmitter of the symbol with the symbol itself. The Tradition is linked to our encounter with the forces of life and not the people who bring this about. But we are weak, we ask the Mother to send us guides, and all she sends are signs to the road we need to follow."

- Paulo Coelho "The Witch of Portobello

Discordia Comes Out to Play

2007-07-05T20:31:00.000-04:00

Before I begin I just want to clarify that these are my opinions and you are more than welcome to disagree with them. In fact, I encourage you to voice your own discord by using the comments link at the bottom of each post.

Now, on to the meat and potatoes of it...

I’m frustrated. I feel as though Wicca and the overall idea of doing spells and magic (with a k) has gotten out of hand and become just plain silly. I don’t think Pagans will ever be taken seriously if we don’t lose some of the Dungeons and Dragons type mentality that seems to infest our communities. I’m not saying playing D&D is a bad thing. In fact, it's a great social pastime. I am only saying that I believe that type of fantasy has no place in religion.

Spells were cool and exciting when I was a teenager. Now I consider them prayer with props. Why then don’t we just call it prayer or petitioning? At some point we may have to come to terms with not being able to "take back" all the terminology we use. When people hear the word "spell" along the same vein as religion they immediately think crazy. This is especially the case when there are a ton of role playing games utilizing the idea of our prayer system as a way to do battle with enemies. Harry Potter has added fuel to that fire as well.

I’ve met people who believe in dragons, fairies, gnomes, bigfoot, etc. When I speak with them for the first time I have to fight to keep a straight face. Actually, what I want to say is "Go sell crazy to the Fundies. They're always looking for more and we have all we can handle here."

I think there is a certain amount of hypocrisy at work in the D&D minded Pagan crowd too. For example, I have heard more than one of them say that the Bible is archaic and its ideas ridiculous. They speak of how it is impossible to part the red sea or turn water to wine, etc. Okay. Then why in the world would you believe in mythological creatures?

Reality sucks sometimes. I get that and I’m totally on board with having a healthy fantasy life. But at some point in your life you have to face reality. I would prefer that my religion be firmly rooted in the real world so that I'm fully prepared when reality rears its ugly head.

Children should be able to maintain a belief in fantasy. I would never want to rob my child of the magic of Santa or the idea that there are little beings that watch over her. One day I can explain to her that these are metaphors that represent wonderful aspects of nature and the Goddess.

Look, I really want to believe unicorns are real. I still turn to look at every apple orchard I pass in the hopes that somewhere within the mists there will be a gorgeous, one-horned white horse with a mane that ripples in the wind. I want to believe. But I have yet to see a unicorn whinny at the moon and I have yet to speak with a faerie.

On the other hand I have taken in the scent of the summer breeze on my face, felt the heat of fire on my skin, held the earth in my hands, and drunk deep of the purity of water. I have witnessed the changing seasons and watched the moon wax and wane. I have felt the rhythms of the Earth within me and noticed my connection to all things. Nature is real. Nature I can touch, see, taste, smell, hear, feel, and sense.

To sum up, I am not saying we should not hold on to the hope that some of these things can exist – at least in some other realm, the astral, or whatever. I am simply saying that there should be more reality rooted in our religious practices. If one more person asks me if I can feel the trapped spirit in their (insert mundane object here) I may just have to let the giggles escape.

In my opinion, superstition and ideas originating in fantasy have not been something the human race typically deals well with. Those ideas usually come to an end with someone getting burned at the stake.

A Journey with the Mother

2007-07-02T23:44:00.001-04:00

Sit in a comfortable, quiet place. Light candles, incense, or anything that may set the mood for you. You may choose to listen to soft, soothing music.

You begin on a wooded path, the same path that you walked to find the Maiden. Except this time the path is lined with red roses of every shape and variety. There are growing things everywhere; bushes and shrubs, trees and flowering herbs. The sweet smell of summer is in the air.

Overhead the sun is high and bursting with heat. The heat is not oppressive and the thick canopy of trees above shields you from the directness of its light. You are comfortable and warm.

Animals move and make sounds nearby. Beside you is a doe grazing on the forest greens. She stares at you with big brown eyes and welcomes you in her silent way.
As you walk the path take the time to investigate your surroundings. Remember that time has no meaning in this place and that you are free to roam the wilderness around you.

Finally you come to the familiar gate in front of the cottage. They are now both covered in blossoms of every shade of red. Remove the trappings of your daily life and leave them at the gate before pushing it open to step into the garden of the Goddess.

You have just closed the gate behind you when a woman opens the door of the cottage. As she steps over the threshold she greets with a smile and a little nod of her head. You feel a pleasant warmth spread over you and you send her a smile in return.

She wears a gown the color of the roses around her with hints of deep green that match her eyes. Her hair is tied up in a bun behind her head and her belly is swollen with new life.

You remain where you are as the woman walks towards you. Her eyes sweep over you from head to feet.

When she is standing directly in front of you her eyes lock onto yours and she peers deep into your spirit, into who you truly are. Do you hide anything from her? Is there something you don’t want her to know?

After a moment she puts her hand to your cheek and smiles with her eyes. She puts her arms around you and pulls your head gently to rest on her chest. Do you resist this contact or do you let the Mother embrace you as a child that has come home? She pulls you up again, her hands resting on your shoulders, and says:

"I accept you exactly the way you are. I love you as I have always loved you; unconditionally and as your mother. I will always be in this place, waiting for your visits, but know also that I am always within you for we are one spirit."

Talk for a time with the Lady. Go into the cottage if you like. After all, this is your house; your mother’s house. Stay for a while and let your mother teach you what she knows or just lounge in the safety of your spiritual home.

When you are ready to leave, embrace the Mother and promise to return. Take only what you need from the gate before returning to the path. Walk back at your leisure allowing your consciousness to surface slowly.

Affirmation of the Mother

2007-07-02T23:43:00.001-04:00

This affirmation can be used daily to imbue yourself with the compassion of the Mother.

Ancient Mother,
Your spirit is the creating force of love
That nourishes and perpetuates life.
Let my heart be filled with your patience,
And your endless compassion for all things.
I rest always within your eternal embrace.

Belated Holiday: Midsummer

2007-07-02T23:40:00.000-04:00

Love is the most powerful force in existence. It can quite literally bring change in an instant. Without it there would be no desire to create and nurture, thus there would be no life.

Today, at the beginning of Summer, the Mother Goddess comes to the height of her power as does the sun above us. She has reached this pinnacle through the strength of love. It is love for her Consort, for the child growing within her, and for all of Creation.

As her love and her belly have grown so too has the earth become green and full of life. Flowers bloom all around us and the animals have come together in the fields to mate and multiply. Life is everywhere we look.

The Goddess has reached the peak of her potential and realized her compassion for all life. She loves all things as a healthy mother loves her children; selflessly and without condition. This is the love she holds within her heart for each of us.

In recognition of this peak of life and love fires are lit all over the world. Tradition tells us that this is the favored day of the fairies and that they troop around the land searching for beautiful mortals to take away with them.

Roses are symbols of the Mother Goddess. They are placed on altars along side rayed flowers and sun wheels which honor the height of the sun. This is a time of fire—the most creative and destructive force known. The same qualities can also be given to the force of love.

Because a peak has been reached now there must be a decline. This does not mean the lessons of compassion will be forgotten or wane. The decline means that now something else must come into focus to join those lessons.

Midsummer is a time of celebration and joy, as are all times in the Goddess’s circle. But with that joy comes the knowledge that this too shall end only to begin again—that impermanence is the nature of all things.

Let us rejoice now in the warmth of summer and in the light at its highest point. Let us live in this moment, and this moment only, so that we might relish in the love of the Goddess and learn compassion for all life and all beings.

Beta Readers Wanted

2007-06-19T21:26:00.000-04:00

I've been writing a novel like story for a while now and I just can't seem to get inspired to finish it. I'm hoping someone will volunteer to read it for me and perhaps lend me a hand. See the details below.

Fallen
(Supernatural Romantic Suspense) Mourning messed up woman artist meets mysterious English photographer who leads her to a demon filled destiny and possible apocalypse.

The current draft is aprox. 60 pages long in 12pt Times. Looking for some sincere and well thought out feedback as well as reader suggestions for where they would like to see the story go from here.

To be a beta reader please email me at grian12@gmail.com. I'll send you the story and you'll be on your way. Much thanks in advance!

EXCERPT

“Hey,” she called from the doorway.

He sat up instantly, awake and reaching for his sword.

“Whoa,” Aleigh said. “Slow down there. It’s just me.”

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“Nothing. I just thought we could have some wine and a chat.”

He looked from her to the bottles and back again.

“Oh come on. I’m bored,” Aleigh said.

He continued to hesitate.

“Don’t make me beg Sean. At least let me have one more night of normalcy. Who knows when I’ll ever be able to sit around drinking wine with a handsome man again?”

His face changed a bit, softening with feeling. Her guilt-trip approach had worked.

“Okay, but there will be no getting drunk. We’ll be fodder for the Watchers if we drop our guard.”

“Yeah, okay whatever. Let’s go sit by the sea.” Aleigh led the way through the door, calling over her shoulder “And no more demon talk.”

Sean sighed, something he seemed to be doing a lot of lately, and followed his charge out into the fading daylight.

Two and a half hours later they were polishing off their second bottle of wine and were as at ease with each other as old friends.

“You know I just realized something,” Aleigh said.

“What’s that?” Sean asked.

“One of my parents was an angel.” She took a deep breath and another sip of wine. “Wow, that sounds pretty bizarre.”

Sean was quiet and for a moment as they both gazed up into the night sky.

“Your father,” Sean said. “He was the angel.”

“I guess that’s why he couldn’t stick around.”

“Yes, well angels don’t get to stay down here unless they're banished.”

“So he’s up there somewhere?” Aleigh asked gesturing towards the stars.

“Well, I don’t think there’s anything ‘up there’ really except a bunch of space. But metaphorically speaking yes, he’s um… out there somewhere. He might even be able to see you now… might have even watched you grow up.”

Aleigh snorted, laughing a bit. “God, I hope not. I think he’d be sorely disappointed.”

“Right now maybe,” Sean laughed. “Sitting around drinking with me might disappoint any father.”

They chuckled together at Sean’s self deprecating remark and refilled their glasses.

“My ass is getting sore,” Aleigh said.

They sat balancing their weight on a large piece of drift wood that had washed up on shore long ago from some forgotten place.

“Wait here,” Sean said handing Aleigh his glass and headed towards the house.

Moments later he returned with a blanket under his arm. He spread it out on top of the small patch of sand near the edge of the water. When he was done he grabbed his glass from Aleigh and took a seat on the blanket. Aleigh followed, easing down onto the ground with an unsteady huff. So much for not getting drunk.

“Ah, that’s better,” she said.

Sean smiled at her and leaned back in the sand. His gaze fixed on the constellations spiraling by the billions above them.

“There’s Cassiopia,” Sean said.

“And the Big Dipper,” Aleigh said.

“Um… there’s Venus.”

“And the North Star.”

“Okay, I’m done. I don’t know any more.”

Aleigh laughed. “Well, there’s Orion and the Seven Sisters.” She pointed to places in the sky leaning towards him so that he could follow her finger. Their faces were only inches apart. Aleigh could smell his skin. It was a smell she was quickly becoming accustomed to.

“I only see six sisters,” he said.

“The seventh one is hiding,” Aleigh replied, shifting towards him on her elbow and downing more wine before continuing. “Her name was Merope. She was a Greek goddess who was so shamed after loving a mortal that she vowed to hide her face for eternity.”

Sean held another of his common silences, letting his thoughts wander into Aleigh’s story. “That’s sad. It’s not right to feel ashamed of love.”

“No, it isn’t,” Aleigh said, leaning in closer to him and letter her mouth become so close to his that she could feel his breath on her face. The wine had made its way to her head and she was past the point of playing hard to get. Oh, who was she kidding? She was the easiest woman she knew.

Sean gently grabbed her upper arms and sat up, holding her at arms length. He decided not to reject her again and hoped simply changing the subject wouldn’t be too transparent.

“I’m hungry. Are you hungry?” Sean didn’t give her a chance to respond. “Let’s go in and get a bite.”

So It's Been About a Month

2007-06-12T00:05:00.000-04:00

How are all of you? I don't have much to post here right now, but I thought those of you who read Panthea deserved a little explanation.

Lately my attention has been very home centered. I haven't given my brain over to thinking about anything relating to my spirituality or the Goddess lately. This is all due to some dramatic events that went on in my life that I am still trying to get through.

I apologize to my readers and I will try hard to mentally recover soon so that normal-ness can resume here at Panthea. I am not gone, just on a little break. I guess you could say that I am not capable of finding a happy medium just yet. I tend to give my all to something and right now my focus needs to be with my husband and my daughter.

Thanks to all of you that still swing by every now and again and leave a comment for me. I read them and appreciate them.

Much Love, Grian

Belated Beltane

2007-05-11T14:29:00.000-04:00

I didn't get a chance to post this on Beltane so I'll post it now. Sorry about the lateness of this topic. :)

The Story of the Goddess at Beltane

Fires burn bright on this night. The Mother, with a growing child in her belly, looks to celebrate the love she has found in the God and the creation they have stirred.

The first spring flowers have opened their faces to the growing sun, trees are becoming full and green, and life is steadily returning from below the ground. Bird song fills the air again. They beckon us to join them in celebration of High Spring.

This is the last of the seed time when the focus changes from a time of planting to a time of growth. The theme of fertility is carried throughout this season and rituals and prayers are made to perpetuate growth in the physical world
as well as in the spiritual.

Beltane is a time of celebrating the pleasures of the body; of the combining of matter and spirit. Know that you are both of these things; that you are eternally divine. Come before the Goddess as you are, without judgment or fear, and she will accept you unconditionally.

The Goddess now transitions from her Maiden aspect to that of the Mother. She is ever aware of the growing child within her that carries with it endless possibilities and the potential for Completion.

She calls for us to join with her this night, to marry our bodies and spirits with her spirit and to celebrate this joining in our own human ways; with song, dance, feasting, friendship, and love.

She will dance beside us in our circle, her voice will join ours on the wind; she will laugh and rejoice with us. And when the sun retreats into the night she will find a quiet place to tend the flames of passion.

At Beltane the Goddess teaches us to cherish our material qualities and be without shame before her. She teaches us that there is nothing sinful about being a human being, that passion is something to be embraced, and that we are all her beloved children.

Polycystic Ovaries

2007-05-08T21:10:00.000-04:00

On Thursday evening I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome. I had hoped to have a second child in the very near future but according to my doctor - and I quote "Your first child is a miracle. Women with this have a very difficult time conceiving."

So, it looks like it will much harder than I imagined. On the upside, my kid is a miralce. But I already knew that.

Polycystic ovarian syndrome is related in some ways to diabetes. From what I understand raised sugar levels cause eggs to never fully mature or drop. Instead they turn into little cysts.

Symptoms of this syndrome could be excelerated hair growth in places like the chin, chest, and back, thinning hair in older women, excess weight around the middle. depression, mood swings, and fatigue.

So, I've actually learned a lot about my body and gained some reasons as to why I've had depression in the past. I feel like I've tackled the emotional issues of depression, now I just get the occassional general malaise.

Anyway... google polycystic ovarian syndrome for more info. It only seems to affect 5-10% of the female population, but if you have trouble conceiving it is something to consider. An ultrasound seems to be the only way to know for sure.

I have lots of hope that I can still be pregnant by the end of the year, but I also accept that what is meant to be will be.

New Green Allies

2007-04-30T21:06:00.000-04:00

I picked up a few new herbs for the garden yesterday. I can't wait to get them into the ground. Hopefully, I'll be able to find some room for them.

Of course there is a lot more information available on these herbs and their uses, but below I have added a few snippets regarding what I know of them. As with any herb, do extensive research and perhaps even consult a professional before self medicating.

Pennyroyal: (as stated in an earlier post) Probably the most dangerous emmenagogue and reported to have been used by Native American Indians for centuries to induce abortion. This would also classify it as an abortificient. Also, Kurt Cobain apparently drank it daily to help with stomach ailments.

Tansy: Also an emmenagogue used to promote menstruation and cause herbal abortions. Read more about these uses here: http://www.sisterzeus.com/Tansy.htm.

Borage: Self seeding annual. Reported in older times to give courage to any who consume it. Also reported to counteract depression and cause a mild euphoria.

Horehound: Long known for its help with lung ailments and coughs.

Helping the Bees

2007-04-29T13:13:00.000-04:00

Okay, so instead of just talking about the problem I thought I would look up some resources on how the average person can help our little bee brothers and sisters. Below is some information and a list of helpful links centered on living in partnership with the pollinators of our planet.

Provide Nesting Places for Bees: Honey bees like hollow trees. If you can leave these on your property for honey bees to build their colony in please do. Plus, this gives you another reason to avoid clearing out that wooded area at the back of your lawn. Just let it be natural and nature will appreciate it.

Plant Bee-Friendly Plants: Plant a variety of native plants that have different bloom times to keep the bees eating for months. Many "weeds" also provide much needed nourishment for bees. Avoid using weed killer in your lawn and let the red and white clover flourish a little while longer. The bees will thank you for it.

Avoid Pesticides: Organic gardening is just plain better for everyone. Nature needs natural methods to be as healthy as possible. Use natural materials whenever you can.

List of Bee Friendly Plants PDF
The Pollinator Partnership
Urban Bee Gardens

Mama Merope's Bees

2007-04-27T08:45:00.000-04:00

There's been a lot of blogging about bees lately.

Pagan Godspell was the first place I heard about the cell phone connection to it all. She leaves us with an earlier prayer for their survival as well. Hecate also chimes in to speak about her regrets and hopes for the future of humanity and the honey bee.

I've just sort of been soaking it all in and wondering what life on this planet might be like without the honey bee. We hardly notice them unless they're nearby and threatening to sting us or climb into our soda can. We don't tend to remember how our lives - the very food we eat - depends on their hard work.

Last weekend over dinner my father-in-law all but told me I was stupid for believing a cell phone could kill a bee. He's a Conservative you know, so apparently nature is less than important to him. If I even bring up environmental issues he goes off and calls Al Gore a "cardboard cutout of an idiot". What amazes me is that he loves to garden and seems to know all the names of the plants and trees around him. The picture of the bee and purple flower above is from his garden. I’m sure he thinks the honey bee is just the latest object of the Liberal media. Or something like that. I love the man, but he could certainly use a little wake up call when it comes to Mother Earth.

In ancient Crete the bee was venerated as a symbol of the Goddess. We don’t know the Bee Goddess’ name, but I tend to call her Merope, the Honey Faced. Merope was a later Greek Goddess and one of the Seven Sisters. She married a mortal and, as legend has it, that is the reason she is the faintest star among her sisters within the constellation of the Pleiades. She hides her face in shame. I think this was something the Greeks added later, after the influx of patriarchal ideas. The Goddess is often known to bring together – or balance out – the divine and the profane (profane being anything inherently human, mortal, and mundane.) Her mortal consort is very likely a later image of the bull-god of Crete.

So the Minoans were smart enough to understand the connection between all of life and to understand what it meant to live in harmony with the rest of the planet. They observed the work of the bees and noted how, without the buzz, their crops would fail and their lives would end.

Thousands of years later humanity has unfortunately become less intelligent and more concerned with how much "stuff" they have. "Screw those stupid bees, I just got the coolest, most expensive phone on the market! I can text at the speed of light and take hi-res pictures. That's so much cooler than a few bugs."

It's worth saying that the decline in honey bees could be a natural event. If that's the case I think Mama is trying to tell us something. She's all but shouting "your time is almost up."